I am a narcissist – maybe not a full-blown narcissist like Dorian Grey, but I do like watching my old reels. It makes me feel better about myself. Of course, you have already made your judgments about me – but stop. Because don’t you think it’s too soon to judge me? Plus, I am going to blame my narcissism on my parents – I’m an only child, and whose fault is that?
Definitely, not mine.
Birds of the same feather flock together – there’s nothing more real! I am drawn to other narcissists, and sometimes, I am unable to ignore the red flags screaming ‘no’ in bold. Being a little narcissistic is fine as long as you can disguise it as self-love. (just kidding)
But then there are people like my ex-boyfriend who love blowing things out of proportion just because their fragile egos are hurt. A full-blown narcissist always looks for control – and when that control is lost, everything around them collapses. I love to control, but knowing when to take charge and when to let go are vital aspects of exercising control.
An ACTUAL narcissist cannot imagine losing control – it’s LITERALLY the lowest of the lows to lose control over people they have already controlled for some time now. And their reactions are not always the most healthy thing to have in your life. Welcome to Confessions Of A Narcissist – today, we will discuss how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you.
But First, The Difference Between A Narcissist And Having Narcissistic Traits!
Miley Cyrus can sing about self-love and flowers, but the internet thinks she is a narcissist. Kanye West and his former billionaire wife, Kim Kardashian, are also proclaimed as narcissists by the internet. But do you really think these celebrities are narcissistic? How West behaved when Kim started moving on in life was a classic example of a narcissistic collapse.
Kim loves taking selfies, but so does the majority of the world. Yes, she took around 6000 selfies on vacation in 2016. She definitely has narcissistic traits. So does Miley – remember that weird phase in 2015 when Miley hosted the VMAs? She made the entire event about herself – she was screaming for attention. Again, Cyrus definitely has narcissistic traits.
After all, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is real! And so many of us have so many narcissistic traits that we are not even aware of – it’s all really undiagnosed until, one day, it’s diagnosed.
But what Kanye West did after Kim ended things with him were all signs of narcissistic collapse, confirming that West is a narcissist. Of course, it’s my assumption, and you might disagree with me. But as someone with narcissistic traits, I think I am privileged to comment – I am aware of the red flags I bring to the table. And that awareness, honestly, makes all the difference.
Narcissists And History: A Saga!
If you ask, ‘are narcissists insecure?’ then you have to understand that they are – some more insecure than others.
I mean, look at History.
Henry VIII married SIX times at a time when divorce was illegal and beheaded TWO of his wives. Napoleon Bonaparte is famous for his battles and military capabilities, but did you know the phrase ‘Napoleon Complex?’ was coined after Bonaparte? Adolf Hitler is undoubtedly the cruelest killer in Modern History. He lacks a simple quality – the ability to empathize.
Ted Bundy killed over 30 women, but that’s not the strangest thing about a serial killer like Bundy. Bundy was a narcissist because he represented himself at his own trial and constantly referred to himself as ‘Mr. Bundy’ during the trial – surreal, right?
History has too many examples of narcissists if you closely look at the signs. History also tells us about how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you. And you know one thing that’s always will be true about History – it never lies.
If you ask how to make a narcissist miserable, then there’s only one answer – take away control. Just watch them writhe with pain, burn with misery, and ultimately collapse with shame. Real life is not very different from History – if a narcissist is creating chaos in your life, then just take away their control. Be ready for the worst, and soon, it too shall pass.
So, How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?
Once you figure out how to turn the tables on a narcissist and seize control, don’t start living inside a bubble thinking life’s beautiful again. Because you are probably not familiar with how a narcissist reacts when they lose control of you. So, how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you?
There are so many ways a narcissist can react. But today, I am going to speak about the three most common ways a narcissist reacts when they lose control over their victim.
Let’s find out…shall we?
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Narcissist Scorned:
Once I got involved with a narcissist, I knew narcissistic rage eyes weren’t fictional – they were real. Losing control is one thing, but a narcissist realizing that he has lost control is unbeatable.
Expect the narcissist will yell, sulk, stomp their feet, and basically do everything possible to regain control, even at the cost of becoming abusive or violent.
Their purpose? To scare you into believing that you cannot exist without their help.
Nothing is LITERALLY off-limits. They will act like a spoiled baby whose favorite toys have been confiscated. In this case, there’s only one toy in the situation – yep, I’m talking about you.
Silence Is Golden:
If anger doesn’t make you stay, the narcissist will try to gaslight you into staying – what better than cutting off contact with you and pretending you don’t exist?
Most commonly, victims in such cases are already isolated by the time they realize they are being manipulated – so giving the victim a cold, silent treatment can only guilt-trip the victim into coming back to the narcissist.
The silent treatment is classic – it’s the pleasure you get from watching someone try to communicate with you, but you are unavailable. It’s a popular narcissistic trait, and many people who are not full-blown narcissists (like me) are also blessed with this trait.
Since I am a talkative person by nature, silent treatment is not really my weapon. But that doesn’t mean I am not jealous of people who are good at giving silent treatment.
One Way Or Another:
Did you know that the song, One Way Or Another by Blondie was inspired by how singer Debbie Harry was mercilessly pursued by an ex-boyfriend? If you haven’t heard the song, then it’s about an obsessed lover who will do just about anything – one way or another, he will,
- find you,
- see you,
- meet you,
- trick you,
- get you, and
- win you.
This does sound like a narcissist. My ex-partner did stalk me, and it was really, really weird. I still remember – I was at a random coffee shop with a friend when he just came and sat beside my friend. We flipped, and what followed was a humiliating incident.
But this is exactly what a narcissist does on losing control.
And It’s A Wrap!
Now that you know how does a narcissist react when they can’t control you, what are your thoughts? If you have handled narcissism in the past, then feel free to share your experiences with us in the comments below.
Barsha Bhattacharya is a senior content writing executive. As a marketing enthusiast and professional for the past 4 years, writing is new to Barsha. And she is loving every bit of it. Her niches are marketing, lifestyle, wellness, travel and entertainment. Apart from writing, Barsha loves to travel, binge-watch, research conspiracy theories, Instagram and overthink.