It is very easy to identify unhealthy relationships from the fringes. When your best friend’s partner is not treating her right, most of the time, you end up expressing your concerns immediately. Or, when a popular celebrity’s romantic partner cheats on her, you can’t stop yourself from sharing your opinion on Twitter and Instagram (been there).
But when it comes to your relationship, it’s no longer easy to spot and acknowledge the red flags in your man.
Red flags in relationships are somewhat like deal breakers – these are non-negotiable for one partner that does not necessarily have anything to do with their individual preferences but so much more with their behavior, emotional maturity, availability in the relationship, and character.
Yes, there are several signs that you can’t actually ignore. If your man cheats on you and you realize you cannot trust him, your S.O., again, then it’s time to understand that you have to GTFO of that relationship.
But then there are red flags that are more subtle — and often forgiven easily — and sometimes, you might even find yourself simply ignoring all the bad signs because you just don’t want to admit that your boyfriend whom you love is not really that good for you.
But it’s vital to check out the red flags in your man so that you can handle him appropriately and, at the same time, decide if this relationship is really the best for you.
Recently, we spoke about the red flags in a woman – today, let’s talk about the obvious without further ado – the red flags in men.
Red Flags In Men To Avoid At All Costs:
Men and red flags, mostly, go hand in hand – sorry for the generalization, but if you are a heterosexual man and you are reading it, then you know what we are talking about. And if you can’t relate for some reason, then it is best that we don’t waste time and talk about the biggest red flags in men!
1. They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself:
You deserve to be with someone who treats you like a Queen, period. If your soul mate wants you to change by dressing differently or even ditching your friends, then this could be a sign that they do not really want you for you. And you deserve someone so much better.
Also, if your significant other is always putting you down, then you definitely deserve so much better.
Also, if they put you down constantly, or their behavior towards you actually makes you question your worth, then it is time to end things. Any good relationship is meant to lift you up and make you feel better instead of knocking you down.
Anytime your partner minimizes your achievements, makes you feel bad about yourself, or lowers your confidence, it can definitely be considered a red flag – and not just for you, but also for yourself. Often, when people do not feel good about themselves, they belittle others as well. After all, relationships are meant to add up to our lives – they should be a net positive.
2. They Keep You Second-Guessing Their Feelings Towards You:
Games are never cool in a relationship. It should be obvious to you that your partner has feelings for you. If you don’t have that clarity, then it’s a red flag that merits a pretty serious conversation. This is perhaps one of the most common red flags in men.
It is not a positive foundation for a romantic relationship to have no emotional security. Sometimes, it takes much time for you to find out how you are feeling or for them to determine how they are feeling. And it would be great for them to actually talk about that. But if they are making you second guess, then it is going to undermine the whole future of the relationship.
At the start of a relationship, your partner might go out of their way to express their feelings for you. That might wane off as the relationship begins to grow and you both start spending months and even years together. But you should still feel secure and comfortable with your person.
3. They Don’t Listen To You:
If your soul mate never really pays any attention to you when you are talking to them, then what is the point of even dating? This could be a sign that they do not have the emotional capacity to care to love you how you are supposed to be loved in a relationship.
They don’t need to actually recall your conversations word for word, but they should definitely put their phone down and actually listen to you with some thoughtful input here and there. That goes double when you are stressed or even upset.
Sure, their eyes might actually glaze over when you are constantly complaining about some drama at work. But anyone who happens to be worth your time must take a genuine interest in your as well as your life.
4. They Don’t Support Your Goals:
Maybe you can ask them to run some flashcards before a big test, and they refuse to help. Or maybe you share with them your dreams of starting your own brand one day, and they laugh you off like they do not really believe you can do it. That does not feel good at all. Whoever you go out with should believe in you and support your dreams.
If your partner is always laughing at your goals, they might be actually insecure about their own future – but that is no reason for them to actually bring you down. It is vital to reflect on why you are in a relationship in the first place because if you do not feel like there is some value added, then it is probably not the right fit.
5. They Pressure You To Get Physical Before You’re Ready:
Now, this one’s tricky, and usually, when someone asks what are red flags in a guy, this one doesn’t crop up. But let’s just address the elephant in the room.
Getting physically intimate with your partner is completely your and your partner’s decision. There is no reason to actually rush into it until you are truly, really ready. The right person will always respect you by respecting your boundaries and taking things at a pace that both of you are comfortable with.
They refuse to respect your boundaries or even acknowledge what is important to you. That makes the relationship unsafe both physically and emotionally.
6. The Relationship Is All About Them:
You hang out at your partner’s house whenever it is convenient for their schedule, and you always get food for them. If they are never taking your likes, dislikes, or interests into account, then that is not fine. Relationships are mostly about compromises on the small and big things.
One of the most unhealthy red flags in men is perhaps this one – relationships are all about an even exchange. Of course, there are going to be issues depending on different life circumstances.
There has to be a certain equality for people to feel satisfied in a relationship. Several times, when there is no balance, people tend to feel like there is a lack of fairness in the entire relationship, and it can lead to plenty of bitterness. And when things start getting sour, it becomes so hard to maintain the relationship.
7. They Don’t Try To Get Along With Your Friends Or Family:
Your partner does not have to be besties with besties, but they should most definitely make a serious effort to get along with everyone who is important to you. And they should always feel like introducing you to your friends and family as well.
Someone who is committed to a relationship and cares about you would express actions towards people that are vital to you. Caring for people who are important to you is an extension of actually caring for you. If your close ones do not have heart eyes for them, then chances are they might be picking up on the red flags that you are too smitten to spot!
8. Your Friends Don’t Like Your S.O.:
One of the biggest red flags in men has to be their inability to get along with their partner’s friends. If they don’t get along with your friends, then it’s a red flag in need of a conversation. Chilling with your friends is easy and fun. But if you have to think thrice before you causally slip his name into conversation with your friends, then that is a huge red flag.
If any friend comes to you and expresses concern about your relationship, even if it becomes very hard to hear, it becomes important to listen to what they are saying. It is overwhelming and scary to obtain that information from people in your life.
You might not actually agree with every single point, and your friends do not always have a grasp of what is actually going on in your relationship. But if they are sharing concerns, then it probably is not coming out of nowhere – real friends actually care about you.
They will spot the unhealthy patterns in your relationship, and they have the courage to actually speak out despite the adverse impact that might happen.
It is relatively more likely they are not randomly hating on their partner. They know that you deserve better and wish you were aware of that as well.
Keep an open mind and remember that if a friend came to you on their own, then they must have been pretty concerned to do so – they must have been coming from a place of worry and concern. Acknowledge that they are doing this out of their love for you.
9. You Have Never Met Their Friends:
In all the time you have spent together, you have come across countless hilarious stories about your boyfriend’s friends. So where are these friends? If you have been going out for some time and still have not met their friends, that is very suspicious.
In some way, they are potentially hiding something about themselves or hiding you, for that matter. There isn’t complete transparency. And in order to actually integrate into each other’s lives, you have to meet the important people in each other’s lives.
You can truly learn so much about a person when they are in a group setting versus one-on-one. How people talk to their friends speaks volumes about who they actually are!
10. They Call You Crazy:
People use this term when they are trying to invalidate your emotional experiences. It is a red flag that they are not mature enough to actually listen to you or even own up to their behavior. By calling you crazy, they are negating your emotional experiences and responses in the sense of manipulating ou to believe that they are not very important.
Wrapping Up: Knowing When To End A Relationship!
Now that you have a fair idea about the biggest red flags in men that you need to avoid at all costs, let’s talk about ending a relationship – how do you know when it is time to end a relationship?
Of course, there is no fixed answer to this question, but it is crucial to acknowledge your emotions and feelings – how do you feel in the relationship? Obviously, there are going to be bad days, but how do you feel on the good days?
Relationships are supposed to make you feel content, joyful, and happy. If you don’t have much of a positive association in the relationship, then it’s best that you end it. If you have concerns for your partner or you have confronted them about their red flags, and they have not changed, then it is time to end things and walk away.
Feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, and opinions on relationship red flags in the comments below.
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