Have you felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of options in the online dating world? Endless profiles to swipe through, making matches, texting, and scheduling first dates. In today’s busy world, where most people are already exhausted after working two jobs or pulling two 12-hour shifts at work, continuing a conversation with multiple potential dates can feel very overwhelming. But when one decides to share the information with a person that they are chatting with on a dating site, the action is called ‘whelming.’ The term was coined by journalist Patia Braithwaite in an article for SELF in 2020 after she and her friends experienced it firsthand.
Whelming is considered a rude and insensitive way of bragging about one’s popularity and making the person they are talking to on dating apps and websites feel less special or grateful. Some experts suggest that the whelming dating trend is a projection of insecurity or a lack of willingness to commit.
It is true that whelming is quite an annoying dating trend, especially when it is being done by someone else, and we are on the receiving end of it. On the other hand, it is also possible that many of us have participated in this trend knowingly or unknowingly. The Whelming dating trend is actually a by-product of a larger issue that we as a society are facing while trying to navigate the complicated waters of modern dating.
The Pros and Cons of Getting Endless Choices On Dating Apps
Most people of my generation are too busy juggling work, school, personal life, and other social commitments. They rarely get any opportunities to go out and meet new people. So they(me included!) have created profiles on dating apps to connect with like-minded people. It can be for flings, casual relationships, or serious long-term relationships.
However, the huge volume of messages, potential matches, and endless swiping can overwhelm a lot of people. In this section, we will talk about the pros and cons of getting endless choices on dating apps.
Pro: More Choice Means More Opportunity
With dozens of potential matches at your fingertips, the odds of finding someone interesting seem higher. You have more freedom to be selective and can feel empowered by all the interests coming your way. The paradox of choice works in your favor here.
Pro: Easier to Find Shared Interests
With a larger pool of prospects, the chances are greater of connecting over hobbies, values, or life goals. Common ground and natural rapport are more likely to develop. Shared interests form the foundation for great relationships.
Con: Decision Fatigue Sets In
Too many options can be mentally exhausting. Evaluating profile after profile and crafting clever openers starts to feel like a chore. Finding potential romantic matches becomes boring, and you feel impatient and discouraged. It may also become overly judgmental, dismissing potentially good matches over small flaws. When there’s an endless buffet, you’re prone to keep searching for something better rather than appreciating what’s in front of you.
While whelming dating trend has its advantages, like more opportunities to find a genuinely good match, don’t get so caught up in the thrill of the chase that you fail to give promising connections a real chance. The grass may seem greener elsewhere, but that’s often an illusion. Slow down, be more mindful and give people an opportunity to show you what they’re really about. The right match for you could be hidden in plain sight.
Tips for Finding Balance If You Are Experiencing Whelming on Dating Apps
With so many dating apps and options out there, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of potential matches.
So how do you find a good match without getting burnt out?
Here are some tips for finding balance:
Limit your likes
Only swipe right on people you’re genuinely interested in getting to know better. Don’t just swipe for the sake of swiping. Set a daily max, like 10 likes a day, so you don’t get overwhelmed by matches and messages.
Read through profiles carefully and look for common interests or values you share before liking someone. See if they seem genuinely interested in connection and not just hookups. Picky is good – you want quality over quantity.
Pause your accounts
If dating apps start to feel like a chore or you need a break, don’t be afraid to pause your accounts for a while. Take time to recharge and come back to the apps when you feel ready to put in the effort to make real connections. Your mental health and well-being should come before matches or dates.
Meet in person
Once you start chatting with someone you connect with, try to meet in person within the first 1-2 weeks. Don’t drag the conversation on forever via text – you want to see if the chemistry and spark are really there. And meeting in person is the only way to find out.
Whelming on dating apps can be tricky to navigate, but with the right approach, you’ll be able to find balance. You should focus on quality over quantity and don’t be afraid to meet good matches in real life. With time and practice, you’ll get better at sorting through options to find the connections that truly matter.
Last But Not The Least
The truth is, there’s no “perfect” person out there, and you have your whole life to date and find companionship. Take your time, trust your gut, and remember that you have the power to choose what’s right for you. The secret to overcoming whelming dating trend is staying present in the experience and keeping an open and curious mindset. When you do that, you’ll start to see that less can be more, and quality connections will happen naturally. So breathe, take the pressure off yourself, and go with the flow.