When I sat down to write about a pillow princess, I asked fellow writers what their understanding of the term was. And I was surprised to find out that people actually don’t know what the term is all about. With TikTok and Instagram going crazy over the passenger princess trend, people have a somewhat vague understanding of the concept.
First things first – the term refers to anyone who prefers lying in bed, letting their partner do all the ‘hard work,’ in bed is a pillow princess.
The term initially originated in the LGBTQ+ community and typically refers to lesbian partners. But over the years, the term expanded its scope, and now it can refer to anyone, irrespective of their sexual orientation.
But the most interesting thing about this term is how the people who do know what it means kept saying that pillow princesses are lazy lovers.
And that really intrigued me – what if you are a pillow princess and your partner loves it? What if your partner loves doing all the hard work because it gives them pleasure to see you happy in bed?
In that case, you are not lazy – it’s just what works for the two of you. For instance, I am a proud pillow princess, and at this point, I am owning it. And I hope by the end of this blog, you will be owning it too (if you are one of us)!
So, without wasting time on unnecessary labels and prejudices, let’s get cracking!
5 Tell-Tale Signs That You Are A Pillow Princess:
Now, this one is important. For the longest time, I had no idea I was a pillow princess, but then I was talking about my sexprincess with a lesbian friend a few years ago. And she very casually told me, “Oh, so you are a pillow princess.”
I had no clue what she meant. But I immediately thought it had something to do with my love for lying down against the fluffy pillows. I was actually embarrassed that I had nothing to add to the conversation simply because I didn’t know what she was talking about. I just smiled.
That week, I did intensive research, only to realize I am a proud pillow queen!
And while there are plenty of generic signs on the internet, I have managed to find a pattern from my experiences. Plus, I asked a bunch of other pillow princesses to check for the same signs. And guess what? It’s the same for all of us.
So, with bated breath, I present the five most tell-tale signs that you are ‘royally lazy’ in bed, but like in a really cute way!
1. You ‘Get’ More Than You Give:
If your go-to move in bed is to simply lie down while your boo goes down on you to make you orgasm, followed by some traditional bonin’, then that is a BIG indicator. Sure, you give your partner oral from time to time.
But then, deep down, you are aware that you are not giving oral because you like doing so. Instead, you are doing it only because your partner does it for you – it’s like returning a favor. The point is you get more than you give in bed – and that, my friends, is the biggest sign!
2. You Favorite Position Is Spooning Or Missionary:
No shade, really, but if your favorite position in bed happens to be missionary or spooning, then that, too, is a BIG indicator. Yes, you switch things up occasionally with tabletop or reverse cowgirl, but then who are you really kidding? After all, spooning and having sex on a Sunday morning is your favorite!
3. You Love Being Tied Up Because You Don’t Have To Do Anything:
Anastasia Steele was one lucky girl – and if you are a pillow princess, you will definitely agree. Being submissive and lazy is perhaps the best combination of personality traits. I’ll tell you why – if your boo likes tying you up, then you LITERALLY don’t have to do anything.
You just need to lie down and let the hot stuff happen. Apologies for the inconvenience caused, but your hands are tied!😏
4. You Tell More Than You Show:
If you are not doing something physically, you can makeup with talk – specifically, dirty talk. While your partner is actually tonguing and toiling away, your words of motivation and moans are enough to turn them on.
Hey, that’s magic happening – you just need to moan a few times and watch them do even better in bed!
5. You Are A Bust-Or-Sex-Toy Kind Of A Person:
The moment you were able to purchase a nice vibrator without worrying about keeping it away from your mother’s eyes was also the moment you decided to stop putting in the hard work on yourself!
Why would anyone even use their hands when they can just press a button and feel so much better? It’s 2023, and you are not a peasant! If you are internally agreeing with my opinionated thoughts on buying a vibrator, you are definitely a pillow princess.
The Pillow Princess Problem: Pleasure Doesn’t Look The Same For Everyone:
Generally, healthy sexual relationships are built on everyone getting what they need from their partners. And that, my friends, can definitely look different for each one of you. It depends on individuals, their relationships, and their pleasure preferences.
For some, it could mean an equal division around who receives and who gives. For others, it could also mean one partner does most of the giving while the other partner does most of the receiving. But that’s not all – for certain couples, it could also mean experimenting with various configurations at various times.
I think the best way you can find out what works for you and your partner is to have an honest conversation with them. You must communicate your sexual preferences with your partner or what you want from them if you are seeking a relationship that is sexually fulfilling.
Of course, there will be days when you would just want to receive pleasure instead of reciprocating. And that is absolutely fine.
Just let your partner know that you want to lie down and receive some pleasure. There are people who actually find it very sexy when you tell them what you want from them. Don’t just label your partner ‘pillow princess,’ expecting them to give you what you want. FYI: name-calling is not really a good move!
Instead, communicate, and if things don’t work out after you have communicated your sexual needs to a partner, then it’s time you rethink the relationship. At the end of the day, it is always better to ask for what you want and know what your partner(s) want!
