It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a good job must be in search of a man – um, occasionally, for sure, but not always (that’s the inner independent woman asking me to say all the right things).
But then, when I am talking to my crush, I am too fragile to open my water bottle (not even sorry for this one)! I go to work every day, banter casually with my crush, do some work (like this article), and go back home happy with my delusionships.
I have tried resisting this man – this crush I have developed on someone who is not just out of my league but also extremely unavailable. Like even in the wildest sense of the word, it is not a possibility.
I have spent nights thinking about getting over this and avoiding him in general. But it’s so damn hard to resist the charm, the intellect, the humor, and most importantly, the ‘tension.’ He is certainly a red flag (and I have always liked red) and definitely someone I should have avoided, even if it’s damn hard to resist his charms.
Ladies, I understand if you have been here too! And that has motivated me to write about the different types of men you SHOULD DEFINITELY AVOID AT WORK, even when they are very difficult to resist. Stay tuned!
But First, Let’s Talk About The Bad Boy Syndrome!
There are different types of men out there, but why do we always go for the walking-talking red flags, the bad boys? We have all dated someone we knew was just plain bad news – some of us even made a pattern out of it where we only fell for bad boys.
I mean, look at popular culture – books, films, TV shows. Who wins? Yes, the world belongs to the quintessential bad boy. Damon Salvator is the iconic bad boy of television, and he did get the girl. And not just Damon, there’s Landon from A Walk To Remember, Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You, and the more recent bad boy, Hardin from the After franchise.
I can keep on talking about all the baddest boys (albeit hot af) in pop culture. The world belongs to the bad boys – and somehow, fiction has trickled down into our lives. But it brings me to my next point – what’s with bad boys?
We came across a very interesting opinion on Goodhousekeeping.com, where Michael R. Cunningham (Ph.D., psychologist, and professor at the University of Louisville) said in this context, “These men ooze testosterone, which leads to boldness and is associated with exaggerated sexuality.”
Similarly, Madeleine A. Fugère (Ph.D., author, and psychology professor at Eastern Connecticut State University) said, “They may also be rebellious or emotionally unavailable.”
As per Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D., CPLC (relationship coach and researcher), “In the most extreme and negative interpretation, bad guys display qualities of the so-called psychological dark triad. Basically, they might be narcissistic (with a sense of entitlement and a grandiose view of themselves), Machiavellian (callous and prone to exploiting others), and psychopathic (displaying antisocial and impulsive behavior). And yet, sometimes we just can’t quit them.”
Types Of Men You Can’t Resist At Work (But You Must)!
Now that we have established our obsession with the bad boy syndrome let’s check out the different types of men you can’t resist at work, but you must at all costs!
1. The Married Boss:
Yes, he is charismatic. He is smart. He is intelligent, and he really gets you! Oh, and he is your boss. Now that makes things really weird – he is your boss, for God’s sake! And if power dynamics wasn’t really a thing, you still can’t go after him because he is married.
And if he is giving you attention, you need to resist. I know it’s hard. In spite of our stern selves and warnings from literally everyone, it’s almost like a biological reaction in front of his charisma.
Of course, he is not going to leave his wife (and we are not bringing other women down). So, control those hormones and get on a dating app instead!
2. The Flirty Junior:
Again, a BIG NO! Just like you cannot date your boss, especially if he is already married, you cannot date your junior, especially if he reports to you (sorry, POSH). I’ll tell you why.
Firstly, if you work at an organization with established legalities and POSH rules, then you cannot date someone who reports to you, or someone you report to, for that matter. Moreover, it’s just like dating your boss – ugh, power dynamics. As a feminist in the 21st century, I cannot approve of this.
So, that cutie might be saying all the right things to you, but you gotta stay strong and ignore him, girl! Because that is the RIGHT thing to do!
3. The Victim Who Is Always In Trouble:
Now, this guy is a BIG problem – even bigger than the first two!
While the first two are types of men you might have difficulty resisting, thanks to pop culture (I hate you, Christian Grey!), this guy who essentially wants to appear as the bad boy who doesn’t care, albeit with a tragic background story, is a BIG NO!
Trust me, calm that savior complex down because you cannot save him, no matter how hard you try. In fact, you won’t be able to solve his problems, and he will just multiply your problems. And I have seen it happen right in front of my eyes so many freaking times!
So, just ignore his problems and instead save yourself from this mess of a man, or rather, a little boy.
And It’s A Wrap!
The types of men you will encounter at work will be a nice mix. Some are charming, some are creepy, and some are just forgettable. But isn’t that what life is made up of?
Check them out, and dissect their personalities with your girl gang over a bottle of beer on the weekend. But don’t make the mistake of getting involved with them.
I am a little against falling in love with at work. Yes, I couldn’t stop myself from crushing hard over someone unavailable). Also, crushes are fine – just don’t get involved! I know its exciting, forbidden, and somewhat different – but girl, I have got faith in you. I know you can resist, and if you can’t, then share your story with us in the comments below. After all, we all love a good story about a forbidden yet exciting love story.
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