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Love Languages 101: History, Uses, And How To Find Yours

Love Languages 101: History, Uses, And How To Find Yours

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A book named The 5 Love Languages was published around 30 years ago, and the book went on to introduce the titular concept of love into society. And somehow, since then, love and how its expressed have become a crucial part of the entire cultural lexicon. 

I am sure you are familiar with the idea of a love language – but did you know that there are five different categories in which love is expressed? So yes, love can be looked at rationally, even backed by psychology and science. 

So, keep reading to find out all that you need to know about the love language that best suits you!

Exploring The History Of Love Languages: When Did It Become A ‘Thing?’

History Of Love Languages

The whole idea of love language is all about individuals expressing and accepting love in five distinctive ways, as highlighted by Gary Chapman for the first time in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts. It was 1992 when the book was first published, but as times changed, more versions and updated editions of the book focusing on the military, couples, and singles were released. 

Dr. Gary Chapman can be credited for theorizing how a person prefers not just to love but also to accept love. He even suggests how most people enjoy showing love exactly in ways they would like to be loved. But, unfortunately, this is where we have been making a mistake – instead of loving our partners how they want to be loved, we have been loving them how we want to be loved. 

Defining The Five Love Languages: What Are The Five Love Languages?

Are you already googling ‘what’s the 5 love languages?’ – stop, because we have so much more to tell you! The whole framework of the 5 love languages is all about helping couples say ‘I love you’ by only identifying different love expressions and expressing love themselves specifically for their partners to appreciate. 

It’s also possible that you can relate to more than just one love language. Even in that case, according to Chapman, you will have one primary love language that speaks the most to you. Before talking any more about these languages of love, let’s check out each one – scroll down to find out. 


One of the primary love languages identified by Chapman is gifts. This is because there are so many people who express love through giving gifts. It doesn’t matter whether the gift is expensive or bigger in size. Instead, it’s all about the gesture.

Acts Of Service:

Acts Of Service

There are many people who love demonstrating affection with the help of thoughtful gestures instead of material tokens. These gestures could be anything – something as simple as filling your partner’s vehicle with gas, cleaning your partner’s house, or even cooking a few meals are all acts of service. And when your partner does the same for you, you feel very loved. 

Words Of Affirmation:

Words Of Affirmation

Did you know that something as simple as saying positive words to your partner could be a primary way of expressing love? While you are expressing love in different languages, most of us don’t even recognize something that we do as a love language. But guess what? Even words could be your love language – words can speak louder than your actions! 

Quality Time:

It’s also possible that you feel really loved when your partner spends meaningful, quality time with you. This might mean sharing meals together, going on a staycation or long vacation, or even doing something new together like pottery and painting. 

Physical Touch:

Physical Touch

And sometimes, all you need is a little intimacy and physical touch. I know that works for me – maybe your love language is physical contact. Think kissing, cuddling, holding hand, having sex, hugging, or even something mundane like just sleeping together. 

So What’s Your Love Language?

Are you asking yourself,  ‘what is my love language?’ If you are, then that’s completely fine because it’s important to understand which love language you resonate with the most. And not just that, you must find out which language your partner resonates the most with. 

If you think giving gifts is something that you prefer over words of affirmation, then I think the healthiest way to go about it would be to talk to your partner about the same. I feel communication always makes relationships so simple – just tell your partner how you like being loved and, more importantly, how you love. 

Since there are five different love language types, it’s best to play with more than one language or the other. That way, you can always keep things fresh in your relationship. I mean, you don’t want to give your partner a gift every month or week just to express your love – sometimes, you can do something for your partner instead. 

So let’s check out a few ideas for expressing love!

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Giving Gifts:

If you love giving and receiving gifts, it doesn’t mean you are materialistic – it could be your love language. So here’s how you can express affection if giving gifts is your love language. 

  • Bring your partner flowers, the ones they like,
  • Buy your partner something they have been wanting for some time now,
  • Send a surprise hamper to your partner at work,
  • Make your partner a CD mix (don’t forget to explain why you have chosen different songs),
  • Sign up your partner for classes they have been waiting to take. 

Acts Of Service:

Here’s how you can show love for your partner if doing something for your partner is your love language. 

  • Making breakfast for your partner in bed,
  • Taking their dog for walks,
  • Shopping for groceries,
  • Folding and organizing your partner’s laundry,
  • Gifting uninterrupted television time to your partner. 

Words Of Affirmation: 

Here’s how you can express love if words of affirmation are one of your favorite love languages. 

  • Leave your partner sticky notes everywhere with cute messages,
  • Compliment your partner on their accomplishments,
  • Send your partner letters or emails telling them how much you love and appreciate them,
  • Share their achievements or something they have done for you on socials,
  • Call them sometimes and tell them how much they mean to you. 

Quality Time:

Here’s how you can display love for your partner if spending quality time together is your love language. 

  • Try out new food joints together or even cook together,
  • Go out for walks post-dinner,
  • Plan romantic activities like picnics,
  • Buys tickets for plays or movies your partner has been waiting to watch,
  • Schedule atleast one date night every week.

Physical Touch:

Here’s how you can express love for your partner if physical touch is your love language, 

  • Give your partner a massage or backscratch, even before they ask you for one,
  • When you are out in public with your partner, hold their hand or put your hand around them,
  • Without any reason, give them a hug or a kiss,
  • Schedule some time for snuggling or cuddling,
  • Take your partner out on romantic dates.

And It’s A Wrap!

Are you already typing things like ‘love different languages’ on search engines? Why research more when you can check our practical experiences? In that case, the best thing you can do is apply a few of my ideas in your relationship and see for yourself. But of course, you need to find out which love language resonates with you and your partner the most.

In the meantime, don’t forget to tell us your thoughts and experiences about expressing love in the comments below. 

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