Here I am again with an opinion piece. I’ve written more than hundred opinion pieces till date but I have almost never felt hypocritical about the topics I was giving opinions on. But you know what they say – there is a first time for everything, and maybe this is my moment to make a debut on something I don’t like talking about often.
Enter: Red flags.
Yes, yet another blog on Red flags – but interestingly, my editors at The Dating Dairy thought it would be fun if instead of talking about the red flags in men for the hundredth time, why not talk about the red flags in a girl – or rather, the red flags in a woman that you should never ignore.
Sorry ladies, I’m taking one for the team. Trust me, it is better if I, a fellow woman, discuss a few of our general red flags – so much better than men trying to dissect how we think, and point out what they would assume to be our red flags.
With bated breath, here I go – stay tuned to hear about all the major red flags in women that you should never ignore, from none other than, another woman. No one is ever going to say it better!
The 50 Red Flags In A Girl You Should Never Ignore:
So let’s get this straight – you are here to find out about the biggest red flags in women. So we will keep the discussion limited to just that – the relationship red flags in women.
Every time I have tried talking about gender in opinion pieces, it tends to get out of hand – and I don’t want angry men to DM me their thoughts on feminism and how I need to shut up.
The point is – everyone out there, irrespective of their genders and sexualities have their own set of red flags – and it doesn’t matter if the relationship between the two of you is not romantic. Don’t forget there are friendship red flags as well! It ultimately all boils down to the red flags you can tolerate and the ones you cannot.
For example, if your partner has a tendency to never reply to your messages then it could be a major Red flag for many people out there. But for you, it is just one of the quirks your partner has and you are fine with it. But then, if your partner is plain rude to you, and disrespects you everyday, that is something you should not be okay with – and not just you, nobody will ever be okay with it.
So that is kind of the point of talking about Red flags that are very, very generic – these Red flags in a girl are common and you should definitely stay away from them. It’s the Universe’s way of asking you to turn around and run.
1. She Gets Aggressive When She Is Upset:
One of the most common red flags in girls has to be her tendency to get angry every time she is upset. And this one is so common that you cannot spot it right away. Initially, you will end up sympathizing with her – until the infatuation actually wears off, you will find her aggression normal and in some cases, even cute.
Women who tend to get aggressive when they are upset typically do so at the most minor things of life. So they were just sleeping late and now they have missed their subway to work – you will find them crying, complaining, and sometimes even throwing things, to throw a tantrum for what she did.
You will think it is mature and start hoping that she will change one day with the help of a little growing up. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen – it will take you some time to realize. By then, she will probably throw things at you because the lady at the grocery store spoke to you nicely.
2. She Hardly Gives You Any Space:
Space is a very important aspect of any relationship, whether romantic or otherwise. One of the biggest red flags in a girl is her failure to understand that you need some space – not necessarily from her, but more on the lines of being with yourself.
I mean we all get that. When I come back from work and I have my room to myself, I feel like the luckiest person on the planet. And I know that is exactly what my partner feels when he comes back from work in his room after a long day. That does not mean we don’t love each other – that simply means we love each other enough to understand what we both need at the end of the day, that is, some time on our own.
But we weren’t always like this. There was a time when I would have chosen to spend the entire night with him week after week over sleep. But we have evolved as a couple – and somehow with time, we understood that even if we missed each other, It necessarily did not mean that we cannot stay without each other one moment. Yes it sounds very practical and not fairytale-like at all – but that’s what happens when the honeymoon phase ends, and the two of you start settling down.
3. She Has Cheated On A Partner In The Past:
You can actually go to Google and type, ‘what are red flags in a girl?,’ and Google will tell you that cheating on her former partner with you, or just generally cheating on any ex-partners is a big Red flag in a woman that you should definitely not ignore. And cheating does not have to mean, a full-fledged affair – it can also refer to micro-cheating.
FyI, micro-cheating refers to all those naughty conversations you have had with your work colleague, behind your girlfriend’s back. Even if you liked a few thirst traps on Instagram and engaged with someone you find hot, even that counts microcheating, until it is allowed in your relationship or you guys are polyamorous.
So, if your present girlfriend has cheated on her ex boyfriend then they are capable of cheating on you as well. People who cheat, irrespective of their genders, always stay the same – they will always lie, cheat, and sometimes, even gaslight you into believing that they never lied in the first place.
4. She Is A Narcissist:
Spotting a narcissist is very difficult, especially in the initial days of a relationship. Narcissism is perhaps one of the most toxic red flags in a girl, or anyone really. If your gut makes you second guess what you originally perceived about your partner then don’t ignore that feeling – something might be truly wrong with your partner that you were not able to see at that moment.
If your partner only cares about herself, shows zero empathy for you, and gives you the general vibe that she can put you down easily just to fulfill her own need then chances are you are dating a narcissist. Another thing about narcissistic women is that they might try to gaslight you, just to prove a point.
Now gaslighting can be done by both parties – but if one of the partners is already a narcissist then they will definitely try to manipulate the other partner just for their convenience.
They will often make you feel like you are the problem, and not them. They might even make you doubt what you perceive as reality and question your sanity, leading you to re-think the actual truth. If your partner is guilty of doing such stuff to you already then it’s time you end the relationship, and move on.
5. She Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself:
Before we discuss this point, let’s make one thing clear: nobody gets to make you feel bad about yourself. The first step to loving yourself begins with accepting who you are – and if your partner cannot accept who you are, by making you feel bad about yourself all the time then that’s a red flag that you should definitely not tolerate in your life.
When you are dating someone, you should feel like you are on top of the world, at least for the first six to eight months. But if she constantly criticizes you, makes you feel under confident about yourself, and lowers your self esteem then of course, she is a walking, talking Red flag – and you should stay far away from her.
You already know about your insecurities. You already feel bad about them. Do you really need someone else to point them out and make you feel worse? We don’t think so!
A partner’s basic role is to support you, and be there for you – not to actually put you down, making you feel less of a person, but to make you feel confident about yourself. So, if she is not doing that then it’s time to end the relationship.
6. In All Her Stories, She Is Always The Victim:
Now this one is absolutely true. The surest way to spot a major Red flag in a girl is to just sit down and listen to a few of her stories – is there a pattern in her stories, where she is always the victim? If she is the victim in all her stories, especially where she was wronged then chances are she is a drama queen, and you are in for one toxic roller coaster ride.
Because when things start going wrong in your relationship (fights are inevitable in relationships), she is going to blame you. She is going to tell all your mutual contacts that she was the victim like always, and you, my friend, are to blame. So it’s best to find out early whether or not she has the habit of playing the victim card, when things do not go her way.
The best way to find this out is to just hear her stories about her former relationships. Are all her ex-boyfriends jerks who did the absolute worst to her? Does she paint herself as a victim in all her former relationships? Is there a consistent pattern? If your answer is ‘yes’ to all the above questions then it’s time to accept that your girlfriend is a big Red flag, and it’s better to end your relationship with her. Because trust me on this one – no one ever really changes.
And It’s A Wrap On Red Flags:
Once you are able to spot red flags in a girl, the best thing you can do is point them out. It is always healthy to address problems head on and discuss solutions. Just remember, you need to be honest, transparent, and most importantly, kind when you are talking to your girlfriend about her red flags, especially if you want to be with her in spite of all the red flags.
After all, having red flags does not necessarily mean that your girlfriend is a bad person. Like I had mentioned in the very beginning of this blog, we all have red flags – it’s just that you can tolerate a few, and the rest you cannot live with. So if you think your girlfriend is capable of change or at least open to working on her red flags then I don’t think you should end the relationship.
And if you can tolerate her red flags, and eventually accept them, then even in that case, I don’t see any need for ending the relationship.
However, if you think there is no point talking to your girlfriend about her red flags, and that she is incapable of change then you can definitely be transparent with her about how you feel and end the relationship. There is no point being with someone you are not compatible with, at the end of the day.
Feel free to talk about Red flags, share your experiences, and most importantly, tell us what you think about these dangerous flags in any relationship.
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