All You Had To Do Was Stay: How To Get Over A Painful Breakup?💔

“Don’t stress the could haves. If it should have, it would have.”

No matter how much we need it, there are no hard and fast rules for getting over a painful breakup. It’s never easy to deal with a breakup; no matter how strong you are, there comes a time when you feel weak, defeated, and, out of all, lonely.

After a time when the relationship eventually ends, a part of you goes with it, making you feel empty, lonely, depressed, and in a loss of self-identity. The mourning of a relationship is not just about letting go of that one person; it’s also about allowing one of the hopes and dreams of the future to be attached to that person. 

“You have to let it all go. The way he kissed you, the way he smelled, the way he touched your waist and pulled you in. You have to let it go and you have to let him go. Because that’s who he was, not who he is.”

All You Had To Do Was Stay: Getting Over A Painful Breakup

When I feel down and am going through a breakup, the one person I listen to is Taylor Swift, the Queen of Breakup song. And among all, the song Taylor Swift All You Had To Do Was Stay is what makes me get up on my feet again. 

The song is more about giving and lifting me up when I am at my lowest; that is why the song All you had to do was stay is my breakup song. If you don’t know the song, then here it is for you. 

How To Get Over A Painful Breakup?

“It’s not the goodbye that hurts. But the flashbacks that follow.”

No breakup is easy but there are certain ways you can definitely make the process easier for you and your well-being. 

So the list down below is a few ways that I have personally used before to get over all my breakups, and there were quite a lot of breaking ups and being dumped, trust me. 

1. Consider Your Breakup As A Physical Injury

“Some things break your heart but fix your vision.”

A great way for you to get over a recent heartbreak or break up is if you treat that break up as a type of physical injury as if you are in need of a medical emergency. 

Dr. Andrea Liner, Psy.D., says, “You may not be operating at 100%, and that’s okay. Extend yourself the same kindness for going through an emotional injury.”

Read Also: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Why You Should Never Get Back With Your Ex?

2. You Have The Right To Feel Your Feelings

For everyone going through a breakup, all I have to say is feel the grief and mourn over the relationship as much as you can. Take your time to recover, as there is no hurry. 

And one thing is for sure: never let anyone belittle you for your feelings; you have the right to feel whatever you are going through. 

3. Have All The Support You Can 

It is not always possible to go through a breakup all alone; you need your support system. They can be your friends or family, but most times, they are your friends. 

These are the times when you need their help to get over a breakup and even distract yourself from the pain. 

4. Apologies To Your Support System If You Want To

It often happens when you are consumed in a relationship; you often tend to forget about your friends, and then your partner is all you need in life, but that is very wrong. 
Relationships come and go, but true friendships are forever, so ignoring your friends just because you are in a relationship is wrong. When you need them the most, you have to accept your mistakes and apologize before.

5. Stay Away From Relationships

“Sometimes you need to give up on people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t.”

It is important to note that until and unless you are completely over your ex and ready to see what is out there, don’t get into a relationship with anyone else. This will only be bad for your mental and emotional health. 

6. Keep Away All The Things That Remind You Of Your Ex

It is very important that you don’t cling to the things that belong to your ex. That way, you are not gonna get over them. Rather you will get more and more sucked in all those memories that the both of you once shared. 

You can either return all those items that they gave you, or if you are angry, you can even burn all things and, with that, burn your feelings away as well. 

7. Consider Dating Again

“If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority.”

If you feel like you are ready and want to jump into the dating pool again, then maybe it’s time for you to start dating again. 

I don’t technically believe in ‘The One,’ or “Soulmates,” but you might find someone who prioritizes you, fights for you, and, more importantly, understands you. 

8. Don’t Stay Connected With Your Ex In Any Way

“You will not heal by going back to what broke you.”

Once you have started to let your ex go from your life, it’s time to disconnect from your phone and social media accounts as well. 

Keeping tabs on them is not going to help in any way possible. Every time you see a picture of them you will be back to square one and start all over again. 

Read Also: Teardrops On My Guitar: Understanding an Impossible Crush

9. Focus On Creating New Memories

Now that you are working on moving on, it’s time to start creating new memories that will make all the old memories fade away. Go out with your friends, and spend more time with your family members. 

You can even replace the memories that you have with your friends, and replace them with your friends. Like if the two of you had a favorite cafe or restaurant that has special memories, then go there with your friends and create new memories. 

10. Closure Is A Myth, Just Move On

If you are waiting around to get closure, then babe! Let me tell you, Closure is nothing but a myth. You can only move on from the person and the memories you once shared; you can’t have closure. 

If you are waiting around for an apology or some kind of explanation, then you are just wasting your time. It is even possible that you don’t like the explanation that they give; what then? So, focus on moving on and not look for closure.  

What You Shouldn’t Do After A Breakup?

While getting over a breakup is important, and there are several ways to do so, there are certain things you should definitely not do after a painful breakup.

1. Don’t Have Breakup Sex:

No matter how much you crave breakup sex, don’t do it! Yes, it is only natural to seek comfort and support, but you are only complicating things for your emotions. 

So, if you want to get over someone, don’t get on top of them. When you sleep with your ex, you won’t be able to move on. But instead, you will fall deeper for them.

2. Don’t Stalk Them On Social Media:

Although stalking your ex on social media is very normal, don’t do it. Before you give into temptation and stalk your former partner on Instagram, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “am I being kind to myself?”

Well, you know the answer to that question. So, replace that negative urge with an optimistic action and focus on yourself. It could be as simple as going out for a jog or something more emotional like writing a letter to someone close expressing your gratitude.

3. Don’t Obsess Over What Went Wrong:

If you keep going in circles over what went wrong, you are not going to get over it at all. You will not just keep feeling resentful and angry, but you won’t learn anything about yourself. In fact, you will stay stuck in the past.

Try to accept that the relationship ended on a positive note, and focus on what you learned from the relationship. Letting go of the hurt is perhaps the most important thing that you can do to get over a breakup.

Wrapping Up!

There are times when I wanted to say out loud to him,” All you had to do was stay.” But that is when I remind myself how broken I felt when he left in the first place, and I don’t wanna feel like that again; I don’t deserve that. 

When you learn to love yourself, then only others can love you the way you deserve. 

“If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with them with someone you never dreamt of having.”

If you feel that this article is going to be helpful for you, then give us a like and comment down below your breakup story. 

Additional Reading:

• 15 Different Types Of Hugs Reveal What Your Relationship Is Really Like
• Casting A Love Spell: How To Successfully Cast A Love Spell (And A Few Love Spells To Begin With!)
• 15 Secret Signs That Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted To You Anymore
• How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone [Guy Or Girl In 2023]