Lesbian sex, girl-on-girl sex, sapphic sex, whatever you basically want to call it, your very first time can be a nerve-wracking affair. You might feel lots of pressure – and that’s okay to feel you are not really prepared. You just have to honestly communicate about the same.
And if you yourself want to get ready with some solid grounding advice as well as general pointers, then you have definitely arrived at the right spot. So, here we are with our comprehensive crash course on having sapphic sex for the very first time – from experimenting with the best lesbian positions to overcoming performance anxiety, there’s much to worry about!
To make your first time less daunting and help you focus on all the good stuff, here we are with some much-needed advice. Also, just saying if the encounter starts to feel too daunting for comfort, then you are probably not ready. And that’s absolutely all right – stay tuned for the good stuff.
Lesbian Sex: Important Things To Know Before Your First Time
So, it’s going to be your first time. Are you nervous? Are you undergoing performance anxiety? Are you worried? Trust us, we understand! Today, let’s talk about the important stuff before your first time – without wasting time, scroll down to find out more!
1. Trust Your Instincts:
Look, you are probably worried thinking, how on earth will you see this through – and hot lesbian videos on the internet won’t help. If you did engage in straight sex in the past, then you have some idea about what you have to do, but obviously, your first queer experience is so much different than what you have received previously.
Cassie Mørch, a sex expert for Bed Bible, told Cosmopolitan in this context,
“A lot of first-timers experience queer imposter syndrome. Of course, this depends on your past experiences with your sexuality. Although, if this is your first encounter with a vulva owner, it’s natural to feel a little insecure about your own queer experience. You might ask yourself – ‘Am I really into this? Am I properly attracted to this person?’ Feelings of arousal and attraction can feel super different when you’re being sexual with a different kind of body. But every queer experience is always a valid queer experience.”
While tips and tricks are always handy, sex is something very intuitive irrespective of gender and sexuality. You might end up surprising yourself.
2. Communicate Constantly:
Sadly, sexual encounters do not really come with an in-built guidebook – if you are up for some hot lesbian sex, then it is completely up to you and your partner to set the groundwork and have the necessary conversation.
Morch says,
“It’s important to deconstruct the choreography of sex that you’ve been taught. We’ve all been subconsciously been fed these rigid ideas of what sex consists of.”
Talking dirty is perhaps one of the best ways to set the groundwork for what’s about to follow, the dos and, more importantly, the don’ts! This way, you can set the boundaries for your first lesbian experience.
Morch further adds in this context,
“When it comes to lesbian sex, there really isn’t any schedule to follow. You have the privilege of enjoying the pleasure without any physical limitations.”
During the sexual encounter? Don’t be afraid to mention that you have actually changed your mind about something. In fact, always carefully listen to what the other person has to say about the experience – it has to be a fine balance between listening to each other and following your intuition.
Look at lesbian sex like an infinite and intuitive exchange of pleasure – only the two of you can find out together what really constitutes the end, the middle, and the beginning – even if that is the structure you are aiming for!
3. Masturbation Makes Practice Perfect:
What most lesbian movie sex scenes or lesbian sex stories (erotica) fail to reveal is the importance of masturbation. The big day is approaching, and you want to swot up – that’s normal. Trust us, in this situation, there is nothing better than getting some practice – now, if you are regular, then great!
But if you are not so, then this is the time to understand how to be good at masturbating. Don’t immediately freak out in case it doesn’t work out – solo sex is not really for everyone.
Another great way to find out more about vaginas, clitorises, or vulvas is by positioning a hand mirror right between your pretty legs and checking out yourself.
Related Posts: Does Female Masturbation Cause Infertility? Myths Vs Facts And More
Are They Okay With Penetration?
Most lesbian stories don’t highlight the need or importance of penetration. Plus, not all lesbian positions will allow penetration.
But if you feel like you are ready to go all in, then that’s great! But you need to ask your partner whether or not they are fine with penetration. Once you have their consent, you can begin with just one finger and slowly start building up – shoving all four fingers at once is not really a good idea unless your partner asks for the same specifically.
You can build up the speed and momentum gradually. While G-spot stimulation can work wonders for many people, others are indifferent or might even dislike the whole sensation of being touched.
Just put your own fingers inside yourself and simply hook up the same as if you were calling someone – you will immediately feel the spongy bit. It is easy to find the same for some people, while it might be difficult to do the same for others – but perseverance is key! Just keep those fingers wiggling, and find out what happens…
If your partner is not really into penetration, then you can definitely try grinding against each other’s vulvas.
In this context, Morch even says,
“Grinding is a great way to stimulate the vulva without any direct touch with the hands or mouth. Ever heard about the knee thing? One person can raise their knee slightly to let their partner grind away on their knee.”
What About Orgasms?
You don’t need to experience both teen lesbian sex and mature lesbian sex to understand that not everyone can actually orgasm. And perhaps the best thing about girl-on-girl action is that there is no expectation that the encounter ends the moment someone cums!
Of course, you can keep the dialogue about orgasm expectations open – find out what will get both of you to the finish line. Helping your partner to reach the finish line is so much better than trying doggedly to get them over to the finish line – it’s just not hot!
Women Share Their First-Time Lesbian Experiences:
As first time lesbians, it is natural to worry about your first encounter with a woman. You are probably wondering how do lesbians have sex – but that is precisely why it is important to check out these stories!
1. We Waited…To Have Sex:
“I’d never had sex with a woman before but knew it was something I wanted to try. After a particularly bad breakup with a cis man, I found myself at a lesbian bar in my town. I felt comfortable immediately and hit it off with a woman, H, who was easy to talk to, attractive, and witty. We had a few drinks and exchanged numbers, and I was eager to see her again. We had a few flirty phone calls and text messages before meeting up. Long story short, I was fully honest with her about my lack of same-sex experience, and she wanted to take it slow. After a few great dates, we ended up at my apartment and kissed for the first time, which was explosive. The sex was incredibly satisfying — something I’d never really said before — and we ended up in a monogamous relationship for almost two years. We parted ways amicably, and we’re still good friends to this day. I’m exclusively dating women and will always credit H for helping me come to terms with my sexuality.”
2. I Was In The Bathroom At Ninth Grade:
“I was in the bathroom in ninth grade with my best friend and our mutual close friend. When my best friend went into the stall, the other girl pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I got butterflies so hard my stomach hurt. I knew that every kiss with any boy before that was nothing compared to what I felt at that moment.”
3. She Didn’t Know…It Was My First Time With A Woman:
“I was at a fetish play party as a single bi woman. Another woman wearing a corset told me my hair was lovely and asked if she could play with it, which progressed into a massage and her asking me if I liked women. I said yes. I started with clit-rubbing and fingering her G-spot. She really enjoyed it, and until I told her afterward, she had no idea that it was my first time ever with a woman!”
4. I Wasn’t Sure About My Own Identity:
“This girl and I had been hanging out for a while. I knew she was gay, and I wasn’t sure about my own identity. We were having a sleepover one day — as we did most weekends — and she kissed me. We made out, and then we started having sex on a regular basis as friends with benefits. Since her, I’ve only been with women.”
5. I Followed My Intuition And Kissed Her:
“I’d never really thought of myself as anything other than straight until a friend of mine said she liked me, and it was too bad I didn’t like girls. I laughed it off, but something in my head went, ‘It is too bad I’m straight!’ Later that evening, I took a chance and kissed her while we were watching a movie. Then one thing led to another, which led to our dating for a year and a half. I had always assumed I had to be straight because I like men. Now I happily identify as bisexual, and a lot of feelings and a few dreams from high school make a lot more sense.”
6. My First Time In A Threesome:
“It was my first time with a woman and my first time participating in a threesome — so I was doubly nervous. My ex-boyfriend arranged it, and I trusted him and his taste in women. The woman was very sweet, curvy, and had amazing lips. We sat around watching silly porn for a while, no one making any moves, and then eventually, she just attacked me. She straddled me, and I was shocked at how soft she was everywhere. The threesome didn’t really end up being very threesome-ish, as we kind of just took turns in the end — but it was pretty exciting to experience a woman’s body for the first time. Neither of us had the guts to go south of each other’s waists, though. We stuck to kissing and breast play. Since I consider myself pretty much straight but fascinated by the female body, I was happy with that. I had a second threesome a few years later with different people, and I went down on the woman. It didn’t really do anything for me.”
7. I Thought I Was Straight:
“I had gone on a few dates with an interesting late-30s couple and went over one day for a planned threesome. We drank nice cider, and they gave me greens from their co-op before we even moved to the bedroom. I’d had only one crush on a girl and considered myself mostly straight before then, but a few hours later, I fully came to terms with being attracted to men and women after an incredible night focusing on the dude’s female partner.”
And It’s A Wrap!
And that’s a wrap on girl-on-girl lesbian sex! What are your thoughts on the pointers we have mentioned above? If you have anything to add, feel free to do so – share your thoughts, opinions, stories, and, most importantly, experiences related to such encounters in the comments below.
