Casual dating is basically like ordering tapas when you have an empty stomach. You get a combination of delicious bites that is less like a complete meal and more like a range of appetizers.
The dating menu currently offers different flavors of love, but not all of them end up leaving a sweat after taste in your mouth. And do not get started on the scene’s ambiguity – like when you are attempting to understand a situationship vs friends with benefits scenario.
Moreover, we have all been in such a spot before. Someone slides into your messages for dinner and a movie, then things work out between the sheets, and out of the blue, you find yourself waking up to find out: are we even exclusive? Are we heading towards a relationship? Or are we stuck in the romantic world’s equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle, known as situationship?
Don’t actually feel bad. After all, steering through the foggy road of casual intimacy requires two things – a graduation degree in communication and a GPS. Before you begin sailing into the unchartered waters at a complete mast, let Captain Dating Dairy offer you some guidance.
We plan on talking about the rules associated with engagement and the risks of actually going overboard. So, just wear a pair of a swimming costumes and dive from the deep end. The water is warm, and the lifeguard is hot – but it’s always a better idea to learn swimming.
Situationship Vs Friends With Benefits:
In the world of dating, the options to date can be pretty overwhelming.
- Are you looking for something serious?
- Or are you looking for something casual?
- Or are you looking for something in between?
- Should you go into a situationship or opt for an FWB arrangement?
- Which one of these scenarios is ideal for you?
Let’s find your answers to all your questions!
What Are Situationships?
The term ‘Situationship’ might be a new term. But it caters to an undefined relationship – when people say ‘it’s complicated,’ they are basically telling you they are in a situationship. When you have no clue where you are as a couple – is it even a relationship, or are you just dating? Now, that’s a situationship.
It’s a grey area – when you are dating someone casually and have not made it official. It’s different from an FWB arrangement in the sense that the focus is more on fostering physical intimacy and not on anything emotional.
So, imagine that you are in a normal, undefined relationship for a few weeks or months with someone. Both of you have lots of fun together, but you are still not sure about taking the next step. That is a situationship.
What Are Friends With Benefits?
Friends with Benefits talks about basically doing ‘it’ with a friend – think movies like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached. In an FWB scenario, two friends stay just that, friends, but they get physically intimate with each other. But they are not really committed to one another in any way.
Simply put, when two friends agree on having a physical relationship mutually without really developing feelings for each other while also setting strict boundaries, they are known as ‘friends with benefits.’
Think of a scenario: you are good friends with someone. On top of that, there is a mutual attraction between the two of you, but at the same time, you both don’t want a committed relationship. Now, that is friends with benefits.
Situationship Vs Friends With Benefits: Differences
Situationship vs FWB have their own differences that make them contrast with each other. Below are some differences you need to know before stepping into a friends-with-benefits relationship or a situationship.
1. Heartbreaks Are A Possibility In Situations, Not So Much In FWBs:
This is perhaps one of the biggest differences between FWBs and situationships. FWBs are less about feelings and more about physical intimacy. In fact, both partners are typically very clear about what they need from the equations (mostly sexual needs).
Both members in an FWB scenario agree on certain boundaries, not developing feelings, and avoid going on dates.
Meanwhile, people in situationships work on setting limits. In the majority of cases, people don’t really see what is happening but are happy to be a part of the situation instead. Moreover, in a situationship where partners don’t have clarity about their relationship boundaries until someone or the other ends up getting hurt.
2. Situationships Are More Complex Than FWBs:
Undoubtedly, situationships are so much more complicated than FWBs. Uncertain feelings and emotions are a part of situationships, making everything relatively more complex.
People often end up developing feelings and falling in love, and that is precisely where the trouble starts. Moreover, situationships are relatively more difficult because you are physically intimate with someone. And you end up getting attached to this person.
This is entirely different from a FWB case where no feelings or emotions are involved. Partners are actually very straightforward about their wants and needs from one another.
3. Situationships Are More Valuable Than FWBs:
Like the other two differences make FWBs sound more favorable, here’s one optimistic difference in favor of situationships. But how are situationships more valuable than friends with benefits?
In FWB scenarios, there is no real connection or bond. Everything practically happens as per the official agreement between friends. However, situationship is actually give people the space to form a real but unexpected bond with their partner. And you don’t even have to fake it.
Example of Friends With Benefits
It might happen that you have a big group of friends, and you all hand out together. This is a common scene when you have a big group that you get to hand out with your friend’s extended group. Let’s consider a situation where you have a common friend named Ben, and he hangs out occasionally with your group.
It is not like you hang out regularly with Ben, and every once in a while, you meet him at a party. And suddenly, you start to find him charming. And that is where it starts. You start to flirt with him, and he flirts back, and now, every time you meet, there is sexual tension between the two of you.
Neither of you is in a relationship, and you decide to go for it but stay as friends and nothing more. Gradually, it is becoming a regular thing, and the sex is amazing. So you decide to carry it with you without informing any of your other common friends, as things can turn awkward.
And the best part about this relationship is that there is no place for anything romantic in this relationship. You and Ben are clear on the part that you guys are friends, and this is just a casual thing, and the moment one of you starts to think that you are getting serious, the arrangement ends.
There has to be a mutual understanding between the two of you that there is no commitment involved in this. The moment you get serious, this ends, so there is no room for anyone to get hurt.
Example of Situationship
You and Anna have dated before and have even been in a serious relationship. However, it did not work out well, and now you are not related anymore. Even after that, it is evident that you both feel for each other and have strong feelings that you both find difficult to avoid.
She has also gone back to her previous partner a few times. But she has always mentioned that there is nothing as such between the two of them, and she does not feel the way she feels for you. This is where things start to get serious.
In between all of this, you and Anna are still going out and have been physically involved as well. Even though you want a committed relationship with her, you are also okay with how things are continuing and want to dodge any conversation about where this relationship is going or about the status of this situational thing.
There is obviously something emotional and meaningful between you and Anna. It could also be possible that you are in love with her. However, this is nothing like a traditional relationship, as there is a chance you will get hurt at the end of it. So, think twice and be honest with yourself. You will understand how emotionally draining this situational relationship is.
Situationship Vs Friends With Benefits: Which One Is Right For You?
So, in the case of a situationship vs friends with benefits scenario, which one is the right fit for you? Now, that depends on you and certain other factors.
Both have their own advantages and disadvantages. If you are someone who is seeking to explore and experiment with new stuff in relationships, then it’s best to find out more about undefined relationships and the associated terms. At the end of the day, there is nothing bad with having a physical, intimate relationship with someone or even doing it with a friend. But do you know what is wrong? To be in a spot where the other partner is not appreciating or respecting you. You have to make sure that whatever your relationship currently is, you have to make the best out of the whole thing.
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