Love can be magical but don’t let it turn into dark magic,
They say, “Love is Blind,” but don’t be blind while choosing the love of your life,
Love can be complicated, but not so much that you get lost in it,
Love can be very beautiful, like the colors of the rainbow, but don’t let that make you ignore the red flags in your relationship.
Let’s Just Stop! Today we are here to talk about “is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me.” But before we go deep inside, the simple answer to this question is No!
Any time of domestic violence or emotional abuse in a relationship is not Ok!.
The Reason For Her Abusive Nature
If you are in a relationship where your girlfriend shows certain behavior problems and she displays signs of emotional abuse, then it’s problematic. If you are the one who is continuously the victim of these abuses but got used to them eventually, then it’s problematic.
But if you are curious about the nature of such abusive personalities and traits. It might strike you that why is her behavior like this? What is the reason behind such abusive nature?
It is possible that she was too a victim of abuse earlier in her life or had a traumatic past in her life that you have no idea.
No matter what it is, abuse can leave a deep mental and physical separation; people who have dealt with abuse earlier in life can wrongly perceive a healthy relationship with emotional abuse, physical abuse, and other manipulations.
So this can lead to a problematic relationship in her future, even though it might not be her fault. This is what a normal relationship looks like for her. Maybe she has always been in a relationship with violence, manipulation, and abuse; this is how she might justify her actions.
But just because she justifies her actions with all these personal excuses, that doesn’t mean you have to go along with her as well. Never once should you consider whether is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me because the answer is a straightforward No.
But you might never know that you are in an abusive relationship.
Signs That She Is Abusive In The Relationship
If you have become so submissive in your relationship that you don’t even recognize when you are getting abused, then it is a problem. But if you feel like something is wrong in your relationship and you are getting physically and mentally abused, then here are a few signs of how you may be right.
1. She Doesn’t Respect You
One of the biggest signs that she is an abuser is that she doesn’t respect you. Where there is no respect, there is no love. So iSo if your girlfriend constantly downgrades you, disrespects your views and opinions, and even goes as far as disrespecting you in front of other people, then she is an abuser.
Hitting, pinching, and scratching are clear signs of disrespecting personal boundaries. She would even try to convince you that the reason that she hit you was for something that you did. These are clear signs that the girl doesn’t respect you at all and is showing clear signs of disrespect.
2. She Has Anger Issues
Does the tiniest of things make her snap and lose her temper? Then, of course, she erupts into anger, and hitting you is just the inevitable next step.
Signs like short tempers, dissatisfaction, stress, life problems, and other signs of aggression are signs of anger issues. Sometimes in fits of anger, her aggression can evolve into hysteric and neurotic behavior that can even put your life in danger.
3. She Uses Abuse To Control You
The most ancient ways of asserting dominance and control were through psychological and physical abuse. You either break them psychologically or physically.
She may have been in a relationship like this; also possible she has seen a relationship like this and internalized this as what a relationship should look like. She may be portraying such behavior without her knowledge, yet that doesn’t make it right.
The need for dominance is so strong in her that the slightest scope of losing control might result in her lashing out at you.
4. She Is Taking Revenge On You
Taking revenge on each other is never a good sign for any relationship. Maybe she is taking revenge on you for something you did in the past, and taking revenge on you; she uses violence to show her anger toward you for your mistake.
Even if her rationale for violence may have been justified at the time, you should know that once violence becomes a solution to any problem, the relationship is not worth saving.
What Should I Do If My Girlfriend Hits Me?
Seeing the reasons listed above, you can very well understand how violent and volatile any such situation can get. So when such an event occurs, what can you do, or rather what should you do?
1. Protect Yourself And Move Away
By protecting yourself, I am not saying retort to reactive abuse by responding physically. Just remove yourself from the situation, and go to another room or out of the house if possible. But if you think the situation is getting more and more violent, then it’s best to call the police.
In any case, do not retort violently toward any of her actions, they are never helpful in any situation. Although not an option, you should never be an abuser of her, even if she started the problem.
2. Talk To Someone
If you are very worried, living in a state of misery, and feeling helpless, then it is better to talk to someone you trust. Possibly your friends, family members, or even a therapist might help in these kinds of situations.
Just because you are the victim of your girlfriend’s abuse doesn’t make you any less of a man; let go of this toxic masculinity and understand that abuse is abuse, no matter who does it. Get all the help that you can get in a situation like this. There might be some people laughing at you for getting into a situation, and considering you weak, try not to listen to all that bullshit. Others won’t understand until and unless they are in a similar situation.
3. Talk To Her
After she has cooled down, give her time to compose herself, then with mutual understanding and composure, talk to her about everything. And while you take up the subject, it’s better if you choose a public place to do so, where the scope for an outburst is less likely.
Maybe a cafe or a restaurant is a good place to breach the subject since it’s not too loud and the scope for her to react is less as well.
This way, you can talk to her about how you feel and how her actions made you feel, and also how her hitting you is not right at all. Express everything very emotionally and calmly so that she can’t get angry and reacts emotionally as well.
If you want to reconcile the relationship, both of you need to work on it, there is no one-way option here.
4. Reevaluate Your Relationship
If you have been suffering for a long time and think this is high time that something needs to happen, then this is when you should think about your relationship and decide its inevitable future.
Where do you think your relationship is headed? Why are you even in this relationship if you see no future with someone like her? Take your time and make this decision.
5. Understand Why She Is Angry
If you think her behavior towards you is normally not like this and it is a rare case, then you should understand the reason behind her behaving like this. What could have happened to make her react like this?
If the problem is salvageable, then you should definitely give her the benefit of the doubt. And if this kind of behavior is a rare case, then there is scope for restoring the relationship.
Wrapping Up!
If you think you are in an abusive relationship where you are physically abused by your girlfriend, never think if is it normal for my girlfriend to hit me. It is never fine to be beaten by someone. If you feel helpless, then contact a domestic violence hotline to get help.
Talk to someone whom you trust and who might guide you and give you the best advice about what to do in these situations. You can even go to a therapist if you are feeling helpless.
But it is important to understand that the inevitable end to this kind of relationship is breaking it off, but are you strong enough to do it?
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