“What if?” The question that starts it all!
When you are in a relationship or starting one, the worst thing you can do is jeopardize it by overthinking your partner’s every move and action.
Once you start to overthink, it never stops; it is like a virus; it just spreads more and more. Trust me when I say I have seen what happens when you overthink everything in a relationship.
All you are left with are words and actions you can’t take back. And not to forget the regret that you will feel later.
Well, I’m not saying you shouldn’t overthink! Everyone overthinks sometimes; it’s just human nature. But it becomes a problem when you make a habit out of overthinking every move and action. That is when it becomes harmful to your relationship. But if you are looking for ways how to stop overthinking in a relationship. I can definitely help you with that.
Why Do I Overthink Everything?
One of the main reasons why you are constantly overthinking in your relationship is cuz maybe you are insecure. Are You?? It is something to think about.
Insecurity is one of the biggest reasons that is making you question everything. Insecurity is the root cause of everything.
It is possible that someone whom you cared about a lot broke it off with you, leaving you without an explanation. You felt abandoned and hurt, and all you can ask yourself is, “Why??”
Not knowing the answer to your question is making you question everything you might have done in the relationship. And that is how insecurity twists your mind to overthink everything.
How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship?
If you think, “enough is enough! I need to stop overthinking!” then I can help you with that, These are a few things that worked for me, and now I’m sharing these with you, from a fellow overthinker to another.
1. Just Drop A Text And Move On!
“Hi, Hey, Hello!” Why are you putting so much thought into a simple text? I mean, I can see how it can be exciting to start a new relationship and text your partner. But it’s, after all, just a text, don’t overthink that; just send it and get on with your day.
If a simple Hi or Hello leads to a breakup, trust me on this, you don’t need that person in your life. You are better off without them. You need to have a balanced life and not overthink a text.
2. Stop Rereading Texts!
Stop! Don’t reread each and every text. It is possible rereading a text is important when you are in the middle of an argument; giving the perfect reply is important.
But over-analyzing regular everyday texts are not good for you. If a text is bothering you, other than having a “debate inside your head,” call your person up and ask for clarification.
3. Don’t Overread Body Language
Just like texts, stop reading their body language every time. Have you ever wondered why you need to read the body language of your partner so much?
It’s because there is a lack of communication and understanding between the two of you. It is possible your partner often talks in general terms whose specifics are not clear to you.
Other than figuring out the specifics, ask for clarity and work on your communication skills. At least this way, you don’t have to invent an answer.
4. Live In The Moment
Have you heard the term “Go With The Flow?” It means to stop worrying about the future and enjoy the moment you are living in. Why overthink about a future that is not even certain? You don’t know whether this person is going to be your future.
The only way how to stop overthinking in a relationship is by living in the moment and enjoying all of it.
Then why not enjoy the time you have with that person? It can be a big adjustment for you if you are someone who constantly thinks about the future. But catch yourself whenever you are thinking about the future and what your babies would look like.
5. Challenge Your Overthought
Thinking that your partner might be cheating on you with someone else can wreck your mind. Is that really happening, or just your wildest imagination? Why obsess over such assumptions when you can know the actual answer?
These “What if” questions are rarely helpful; in turn, they give you anxiety, headache, distrust in your relationship, and eventually, your wildest imagination come true.
Next time, don’t flip out and think your partner is cheating on you; maybe they are just busy with work. Trust is important in a relationship.
6. Trust Your Intuitions
We all have a gut feeling, but we rarely find ourselves listening to it. When your gut is telling you something, why ignore it and stress your brain, into thinking something bizarre? There is no point in spiraling when your intuitions are working great.
7. Don’t Ask For Advice Too Often
It is helpful to take ask for advice from family and friends; an outside perspective is often helpful in a relationship. But when you make it into a habit, that is when it’s problematic.
If you want outside opinions on each and every relationship matter, then you will never learn to trust your opinions. Only ask for outside opinion when it is highly needed.
8. Believe The Evidence
There is no point in overthinking things you don’t even know are true. Why are you worrying about made-up scenarios? If you have the means, then go and find out actual evidence.
Do you think your partner is mad at you? Don’t guess; find out whether it’s true or not, then worry. Challenge yourself to find out actual evidence and not believe any made-up facts.
9. Don’t Take Things Personally
I know that it is easier said than actually done. Even I can’t help taking things to heart sometimes. But well, “practice makes it perfect.” Try not to take things personally. Maybe they said sometimes, you think it’s about you, but that is not always the case.
10. Talk It Out
It may sound like a cliched line, but talking it out really helps in a relationship. If you are angry about something or fear whether there’s any future for your relationship, just ask.
Assuming as an answer would be worse for you and your relationship. So why hurt yourself when you can ask your partner directly?
Frequently Asked Questions!
I can understand that trying not to overthink is tough, so if you are looking for more questions about how to stop overthinking in a relationship, here are a few.
One of the biggest reasons why we overthink is because of insecurities. Maybe in the past, we got our hearts broken by someone and can’t move on from it. Or maybe deep down inside, we don’t think we deserve happiness.
In order to stop overthinking in your relationship, stop sitting idle. Get a hobby, read a book or go for a walk and clear your mind from all the negativity.
Breaking the pattern of negative thoughts is very important. When something is bothering you, don’t just jump to conclusions. Talk it out with your partner and get some clarification on everything.
There are eight ways through which you can get rid of overthinking relationship anxiety.
➼ Identify the root cause of your anxiety.
➼ Be honest and open with your emotions and feelings.
➼ Use calming techniques when you have anxiety attacks.
➼ Build trust with supportive people.
➼ Talk about your conflicts and differences of opinion.
➼ Know the difference between feelings and facts.
➼ Appreciate the ones that love you.
➼ You can always try out therapy to process your thoughts and emotions.
Wrapping Up!
You need to remember that you are not the only one who overthinks a relationship. It is a natural occurrence; everyone does it from time to time. But if you think it’s hurting and damaging your relationship, then it is a problem.
There are practices and habits mentioned above you can try, but it is important for you to know why you are overthinking. The root cause of the problem. Once you know that, you can work on it. These are the only few ways how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
When you are constantly questioning certain made-up “what if ” scenarios, you are not only jeopardizing your future with your partner. But you are not even enjoying the time you have with your loved one.
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