A new romance is always exciting. Those initial butterflies, excitement, and romance are everything I look for whenever I am dating someone – what’s a relationship without butterflies? But then dating in 2022 has an exhausting affair in the midst of catfishing and creepy individuals.
How do you determine whether your new romance is ready to go from fling to flame? What if I tell you there are 21 questions for a new relationship? These questions can tell you what you are in for – I mean, nobody’s perfect.
But the point is which red flags you can live with and which red flags you just cannot live with! So keep reading to find out!
Going From Fling To Flame: 21 Questions For A New Relationship
Now that you are here, why waste time beating around the bush and talking about new relationships and everything that follows? Instead, let’s find out what are the most relevant 21 questions for a new relationship! All you have to do is scroll down to find out – don’t forget to ask the romantic questions that matter!
1. What Does Your Ideal Rainy Day Look Like?
I always love staying in when it rains outside. So it was a huge surprise to discover that my partner loved doing the same. We had just been on a few dates when it was raining heavily on a particular Monday morning – he sent me a song called Banana Pancakes by Jack Jonson.
The song’s first two lines go like this: ‘ Well, can’t you see that it’s just rainin’? So there ain’t no need to go outside…” – he became my boyfriend that day!
2. If You Had A Billion Dollars, Where Would You Spend Your Money?
I tried to do the ‘21 questions for a new relationship’ test, and guess what? Every time I asked my partner this question, he would stare at me for five seconds straight and say, ‘what have you been smoking? I need some too!’
Four years have passed since then, and we are happily living together – because I find such questions comic, too, and you need a sense of humor for survival!
3. What’s Your Biggest Guilty Pleasure?
Well, you know the thing about guilty pleasures? It’s only pleasurable when you feel a little guilty inside! And if you don’t feel guilty inside, then the question, in that case, is, ‘was it even pleasurable enough?’
This is just one of those things you HAVE to know because you don’t want to fund out you are dating Norman Bates circa 2022!
4. What’s Your Toxic Trait In A Romantic Relationship?
Toxicity is pretty real, and so are toxic traits, but most of the time, we are either blind to everything toxic, or we are too busy canceling the same. At the end of the day, there’s no middle ground!
And you know what? All of us have a few toxic traits. For some people, it’s a little more intensive than usual. So why not disclose each other’s toxic traits in the very beginning?
5. What’s Your Love Language?
This is one of those trick questions that will leave you wondering what you are getting into! I mean, my boyfriend’s love language is food, lots of cuddling, and sometimes a joint or two. But, I mean, hey, that works beautifully for the both of us – so you gotta figure out what floats your boat.
Moreover, don’t you think love language is important? Of course, your love language need not match your partner, but at least you should like each other’s love language.
6. How Do You Define Infidelity?
Infidelity is one topic that needs to be discussed at the very beginning of the relationship. I mean, if you ask 21 questions for a new relationship, then you might as well ask your potential partner about their opinion on the concept of cheating!
For most of us, infidelity can be a daunting experience, but some people consider emotional infidelity a deal breaker over your usual drunk hookups.
7. Have You Ever Cheated On Your Partners In Previous Relationships?
Once you know how your potential partner defines infidelity, the next crucial question is whether they have engaged in adultery in their previous relationships.
People change, that’s what everyone would like to believe, but that’s not true when you think about it – people hardly ever change.
8. When Was The Last Time You Cried?
Again, this simple question can turn deep within five seconds. However, when I asked my partner about this, he was surprisingly honest about his emotions. I loved that he was ready to express his vulnerable side in the initial days of the relationship.
So ask him when was the last time he cried, and you will find yourself mildly surprised.
9. Do You Lose Your Temper Easily?
How you handle things when you are mad is a different story, and it’s always better to be aware of your partner’s temper tantrums.
Find out things like,
- Whether your partner stays silent and takes time off till they cool down?
- Whether your partner tends to get aggressive?
- Whether your partner gets pissed off and then calms down almost instantly?
10. How Do You Handle Conflicts?
Handling conflicts is a part of every relationship when you think about it! But first, you must find out how your partner handles conflicts. For instance, my boyfriend believes in a logical approach – he says what needs to be said without getting aggressive.
Trust me, these are the questions to ask in a new relationship instead of whether your partner wants to have children.
11. What Do You Think About Marriage And Having A Family?
See, you eventually get here where questions like this appear, making everyone feel awkward and weird. For example, how do you know whether you want a child before you are ready to have one – I know you all are about to cancel me, but trust me, such questions, I feel, can only make things weird.
But if you still insist, shoot! You can always ask your partner about their thoughts on marriage and family without involving yourself in the equation.
12. What’s Your Dealbreaker?
Finding out what my boyfriend’s dealbreaker is is perhaps one of the most crucial things to ask guys. Because you never know what’s going to stir unnecessary drama – as a result, you should ask your partner early on about their dealbreaker.
And cheating is not always a dealbreaker. Sometimes, people can also have petty dealbreakers like what food they order in a continental restaurant – I know it’s strange, but I am not lying!
13. Have You Ever Had An STD?
This one’s perhaps the most important question amongst all the 21 questions for a new relationship! First, of course, you need to find out if your partner ever had an STD. After that, finding true love is vital, I understand! But before you do that, try out a little self-love.
If you love yourself even a little, you need to be careful about who you choose to spend your life with or hook up with. The STD question might sound weird, but that’s the most practical thing you can do.
14. Are You Friends With Any Of Your Former Partners?
This is important to me! I am not friends with my former partners – yes, we are cordial, but we are not friends. Coincidentally, it’s the same for my partner. So what if we didn’t agree – would we choose to disagree and move on, or would we agree to disagree?
So it’s prerogative that you figure out whether your potential partner is still friends with their ex-lovers or do they hate each other – trust me, neither emotion is a green flag.
15. If You Had A Single Day To Live, Who Would You Spend It With?
This one is one of those trick questions disguised under the garb of comedy. And it will truly bring out what kind of a human being your partner is!
- Is your partner greedy?
- Is your partner selfish?
- Is your partner scared?
You will have answers to all the questions asked above!
16. Are You A Feminist?
This one’s kind of my deal breaker. For the last time, feminism has nothing to do with women’s issues and problems. So if your partner doesn’t understand the meaning of feminism and you don’t too, then I don’t see any problems when it comes to the future of your relationship.
I am a feminist, and so is my man. If he weren’t, it would be difficult to build a relationship based on a foundation I don’t believe in personally.
17. What Inspires You The Most?
When I did the ‘21 questions for a new relationship’ test, finding out what inspires my partner was my top priority. In fact, it was something that was very important. I work in the creative industry, and inspiration is my bread and butter for me.
So my partner and I must share the same values about things we both believe in – so if you haven’t given deep questions like this a thought up until now, it’s time you do!
18. Does The Concept Of Freedom And Space Excite You, Especially In A Relationship?
Finding out new relationship questions is fun, I know, which is why finding out what your partner thinks about freedom and space is perhaps more crucial than you know! For example, my partner has a tattoo on his back that signifies his thoughts on freedom.
At the same time, personal space is very important, and if my boyfriend didn’t respect that, then there’s no way I could have been with him for so long. You must give the time your relationship needs before it can blossom – go figure these out as early as possible.
19. What Kind Of Traveling Excites You The Most?
For me asking my partner about traveling falls under questions to ask your soulmate! Fortunately, my boyfriend loves to travel, and guess what? While he is training to be a mountaineer by profession, I love isolated locations.
So our vibes are kinda same. But if they weren’t, things would get weird – so love for travel is no longer enough what’s important is what KIND of traveling both of you enjoy!
20. Do You Think Celebrating Valentine’s Day Is Corny?
If you are going to ask 21 questions for a new relationship, then you might as well ask your partner about Valentine’s Day or any such days. We never celebrate Valentine’s Day because both of us find the day corny – every day is a day of love for us!
However, you can always depend on what both of you decide – see? So that’s how you can make things simple early on!
21. Do You Believe In Grand Gestures?
I am a huge fan of grand gestures and have grown up watching classic rom coms like Say Anything, Never Been Kissed, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate You…you get the drift!
So wondering when my Prince Charming will appear with a boombox outside my window after a major fight is only normal for me. So you need to find out about stuff like this – it will save you the heartache later.
21 Questions, Butterflies, And All That Excitement: A Relationship Starter Pack!
The 21 questions for a new relationship are not just things you should know about your partner. These are also vital for any relationship, especially if things are getting serious.
If you are just flinging around casually, you don’t need to scare people away with so many questions. But then, if you can’t stop thinking about this person and those butterflies just wouldn’t disappear, then it’s time to ask the questions that ACTUALLY matter!
Meanwhile, don’t forget to let us know about your thoughts and experiences of asking these questions to your potential partner in the comments below.
Barsha Bhattacharya is a senior content writing executive. As a marketing enthusiast and professional for the past 4 years, writing is new to Barsha. And she is loving every bit of it. Her niches are marketing, lifestyle, wellness, travel and entertainment. Apart from writing, Barsha loves to travel, binge-watch, research conspiracy theories, Instagram and overthink.