- Between us, it’s not working anymore.
- It’s not you; it’s me.
- I think we should stay apart.
These lines might seem really easy to say, but in actuality, they are not. If it is, you will not search “how to break up with someone” on the internet.
As they say, a break up is really hard to do, it is not only hard to do, but at the same time, it is also hard to handle a break up or get over it. The break up the aftermath and emotional complications that pop up within us when we are in such a vulnerable situation are not at all easy to handle.
But when you are not happy in a relationship, it is essential to end the relationship. But as we have mentioned early, breaking up with someone is not easy. So, here in this article, we will talk about how to end a relationship.
How Do Relationships End?
Being in love might be the best feeling you have ever felt. At the start, everything will seem very exciting. You can not wait to see your girlfriend or boyfriend. In addition to that, it is much more pleasing and feels heavenly to know she or he also reciprocates the same feeling for you.
But as it is told, nothing stays new for too long. Eventually, you will get to know each other and might feel that you simply are not made for each other. Some relationships sustain, and some drift apart.
There can be several reasons behind a break up, and growing apart is one of those reasons. When you both get to know each other well, you might find that your values, ideas, interests, and feelings are not matching as well as you might be thinking.
On the other hand, changing your whole feeling about the other person can be another reason, which is also normal. Being human, as we grow, we evolve both physically and mentally. You might not enjoy the person’s or each other’s company that much.
There can also be some other reasons like the mismatches or dissimilarities, you guys argue a lot, and it is increasing the bitterness in the relationship day by day. You may fall for someone else. Or you are simply not ready for a serious relationship.
Whatever the reason can be, when it is not working out, it will be best to have a break up. But the question is, what is the right way of “how to break up” with someone when you do not love or want to be in the relationship.
Why Breaking Up Is So Hard To Do?
When you are thinking about how to break up with someone you love, or you do not love anymore, you could have some mixed feelings. A number of questions can wander in your head during this complicated situation.
- Should I give the relationship another chance?
- Will things get better?
- Will I later regret making this decision?
The decision to break up a relationship is not at all easy. You should take some time to work on yourself, and also try finding out some solutions to all these questions. After that, you can consider how to let go of someone you love.
However, you are totally sure of your decision on breaking up with someone; the whole conversation of how to break up with someone is pretty awkward. The other person with whom you are breaking up might feel sad, disappointed, rejected, hurt, or even heartbroken.
Especially when you are the one who is thinking of or going to end the relationship, you obviously always prefer to do it in a sensitive and respectful way. You will never want to hurt or make someone sad for the other person. It can eventually also impact your emotions as well.
How To Break Up With Someone
Enough of the talks about break up and why relationships end, how someone will feel about your decision. It is time to execute what you want to do, that is, break up. So, now we will dig into the main topic, how to break up with someone.
Everyone’s situation is different. Specifically, when it comes to breaking up, there is nothing like one formula fits for all. Rather, we will guide you with some do’s and don’ts on how to break up. You just need to keep this thing in mind when you are thinking about having that “break up conversation.”
1. Think What You Actually Want
Take much time to think about your actual feelings and what you actually want. Work on the reasons why you want to end the relationship. Always remember, there is no point in lying to yourself.
So, always be true to yourself, at least. If you are thinking about the other person, how they will feel, whether it hurts them, let us tell you when you will not be happy in that relationship, you will also not be able to make and keep the other person happy as well.
That is why, rather than considering someone else’s feelings, first think of what will be good for you. You just have to ensure that you are doing it as sensitive away as you can.
2. Be Prepared
Before starting your break up conversation, you should think of what you will say to the other person and how he or she can react, whether your girlfriend or boyfriend be mad, or hurt, or surprised, or sad, or even relieved.
Considering the feelings of the other person will help you to understand the point of view of the other person. Apart from that, you will get to know how to proceed with the conversation in the first place.
In case you think the person will start crying or lose their temper and can create a scene, make yourself prepared for that kind of situation and also consider how you will handle it.
3. Have A Good Intention
Always let the other person know that you actually care for him or her, and they matter to you. Think about the good qualities which you want to show the other person in order to cheer them up.
Those qualities can be how honest they are, their sensitivity, caring nature, respectful attitude. Remember, your decision of how to break up can impact the other person’s life as well, it can break them.
So, it is always crucial to consider their feelings as much as possible, as we have told earlier.
4. Be Honest, But Don’t Be Hard
Being honest with the other person is necessary. Contradictory, you also need to make sure that your words are not pinching them too much. Start how to break up conversation with the things that attracted you in the first place.
Tell more about what you really like about them. Then you can move into the part of moving on and present how you are feeling in recent days, why you want to break up. As we have said, “honesty” never means being “harsh.”
Never make the mistake of picking the qualities of another person for explaining why things are not working anymore. Thus, you have to work on ways to be gentle and kind while you are honest at the same time.
5. Say It In Person
If you are thinking of just dropping a text and ending everything within a minute, please drop that hilarious idea. Do not totally forget about the times you have spent with others. Respect that and say all those things that you want to say in person.
In case you are in a distant relationship and a meeting is not possible, at least go with a video chat or just make a usual phone call. Going with just a text or declaring it on social media might seem much easier and accessible for you.
But just think how you will feel if your loved one will do the same with you. You will not feel great, obviously. The person is already going through a lot, so let’s not make it tougher for them. Show some respect by doing it in person.
6. Don’t Avoid The Other Person And The Essential Conversation.
Stretching things too much will only make things even harder, both for you and your girlfriend or boyfriend. Apart from that, putting things off for long can also increase the chances of information leaking out anyway.
We hope the last thing you want is to let your person know from other sources that you want to break up with them. So, do not avoid the person or the conversation of how to break up. Rather tell the person directly what you feel without wasting more time.
7. Don’t Rush Into A Difficult Conversation.
In the do’s section, we have asked you to think through it by taking some time for yourself. Here we are also advising you the same. Do not rush into any kind of difficult situation without thinking about it thoroughly.
This way, you might end up saying some things you might regret later. So, instead of regretting, it is always better to plan your actions and think properly.
8. Don’t Disrespect
Always speak about your soon-to-be-ex with respect. Be super careful about not to badmouth or gossip around your ex. In case you feel like taking revenge and want to do something bad, just think once, how would you feel if they treated you the same way.
After the break; it-up, you will want your ex to say only positive things about you. So, you also have to keep it at the same pace. In addition to all these, you never know, your ex could be a really good friend of yours, or you guys could even revive a romance in later days.
When you are searching for ways to break up with someone, it is obvious that you will have a lot of questions in your mind. However, we have tried to offer you a total guide on this thing. Still, here are some additional solutions for you.
Here are some common questions with the answers, which might help you in your “how to break up with someone” journey. So, let’s go through them.
Q1. What To Say To Break Up?
When you are searching for how to break up with your partner, proper communication holds the key. Whatever you will say, it will directly impact the other person. So, it will work well if you start by mentioning some good qualities or what you like about the other person. After that, you can start with what is not working and what you are feeling.
Q2. How Do You Break Up Successfully?
When you are thinking about or planning on how to break up, it is not at all enough to just break up at any cost. You have to make things simple and on good terms for you and your partner as well.
Here are some ways to break up successfully and gracefully.
- Do not do it in public, and if possible, always do it in person.
- Do not make a scene, and keep your things minimum.
- You’re not totally responsible for making the other person feel better.
- Once you break up, for a short period of time, cut all contact.
- Talk to your friends, family, or someone else about it.
- Allow yourself to embrace the emotion, but do not judge or blame anyone.
- Invest in yourself.
Q3. How Do I Know If I Want To Break Up?
In case you are confused and do not know whether you want a break up or not, there are some signs you can look for. All these signs will be able to find out if you want a break up and have to search how to break up with someone.
- Your requirements are not being met.
- You have to ask others to fulfill those needs.
- You are scared to ask more from your girlfriend or boyfriend.
- Your family or friends are not supporting your relationship.
- You are feeling obliged to stay with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
- You both have been working on your relationship for a long time now; it’s almost over one year.
- You are not linking the other person.
- You are in an abusive relationship.
Q4. Is It OK To Break Up Over Text?
If the very thought of breaking up with a person is stressing you out a lot at the point when you are thinking about doing it in person is also feeling too much to handle, you can consider sending a text to the person. It will also offer you the time and opportunity to accumulate your thoughts and tell what you actually feel.
In case you are thinking of considering ghosting, it is perfect. But on the other hand, the other person deserves to hear it directly from your mouth. If meeting in person is not possible, you can go for video calls or usual calls as well.
Got Relationship Problems?
Every relationship goes through tough times; always breaking up is not the only solution, especially when you both love each other a lot. So, what you can do is try working on the internal issues. If needed, you also can take experts’ advice.
We will always be there for you to work on your relationship. It also gets difficult to gather yourself after a tough break up. We will also cover you up with the solutions you need. Till then, if you have any queries, get in touch with us. We always try to get back to you as soon as possible.
Rajani Sarkar is nothing except a mixture of all the characters that she has read from her childhood. Being a hard-core foodie she loves to try different cuisines and explore new places. Gathering information and learning about almost everything and sharing them with others is what she does to live her kind of life.