You Belong With Me…But What If You Don’t?

When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, he kept telling me, ‘you belong with me..’ – in fact, he said it so many times during the eight terrible months I dated him. He said it so many times that I believed it, too, until one day. 

Welcome to Dating Dairy’s blog – today, I am going to talk about manipulative ex-partners, dealing with clingy partners from the past, and of course, some regular cheating! Stay tuned to find out! 

But Before That, What Does Swift Have To Say? A Swiftie’s Take!

Before we can talk about anything, let’s talk about the OG artist who inspired me with the title of this article. Actually, let’s just listen to this iconic song soooo many years later – presenting the Taylor Swift you belong with me lyrics.

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You Belong With Me…But What If You Don’t? Is It FINALLY Time To End The Relationship?

It was a bright Monday morning, and I realized he had been cheating on me with not one, but different women – I couldn’t help thinking, you belong with me…but what if you don’t? What if we were never meant to be? So for the next two months, while I tried to catch him in the act, I never let him understand that I was done with him and the relationship that had already been dead for some time. 

My relationship did end after two months when I did catch him and when he realized I knew he did some questionable things, which I am not going to talk about – but from that day onwards, I have never turned back. But I can’t help wondering if I could get away with pretending my feelings for someone, imagine the number of people who do the same frequently. 

So, today, let’s start with identifying all the signs that indicate your relationship is headed toward a tragic end (ouch!).

1. Unhealthy Arguments:

I personally believe that you can’t build an intimate relationship without a few disagreements and several arguments. If you and your partner are always agreed on EVERYTHING, then I’ll be blown because that would be so new. 

You need arguments but are these arguments healthy? Does it always get personal? Do these arguments turn abusive? Does it happen a little too often? Well, if you are nodding your head to even one of the questions above, then your relationship is in danger – you belong together, but you must consider the possibility that you guys might not belong together! 

2. Lack Of Communication:

A lack of communication is easy to spot – in fact, you can spot it the moment it starts. One day you are talking till 3 am, and the next three days, there’s almost zero contact. You can call it space, but I shall call it dicey. And come on, nobody is that busy. Of course, someone is going through and needs some time – that’s different. 

Learn to identify between boundaries and dicey behavior. At 26, I have dated a little too many boys – if there’s one thing that’s a turn-off at first sight, then that’s inconsistency. I can deal with anything (almost), but I can’t deal with inconsistencies and also dishonesty. Tell me everything honestly, or don’t date me!

3. Weak Connection:

Men may come, and men may go, but there are perhaps only a few you truly connect with – at least, I know that it was very difficult to connect with anyone on an intimate level for me…until I met my current boyfriend. Every time things get a little difficult in the relationship, I can literally feel the disconnect and the insecurity of losing out on something good together!

This one’s all about your guts – listen to your guts. Why do I keep thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend? – it means your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Do you guys need ti to fix some issues you are conveniently not talking about? Do you feel distanced from your partner? Are you worried about your relationship’s future?

4. Lost Sense Of Appreciation:

You don’t need a should we break up quiz to understand that your boyfriend doesn’t really appreciate you anymore, and it’s probably time to have THE TALK. But that’s the problem. How do you tell your partner that you don’t feel appreciated? Even I have thought about this so many times. But guess what?

I still don’t know. I just knew in the back of my head and heart that he didn’t appreciate me anymore. So one day, I texted him, ‘You belong with me…I get it! But what if you don’t?’ and that was the perfect text because we did talk after that text. And if you don’t talk about how you feel, then you can’t move on with or without him! 

5. No Efforts:

One of the biggest signs he wants to break up but is scared to tell you is the clear lack of effort on his part. I mean, I agree men tend to relax a little on the effort part of the relationship once he steps out of the honeymoon zone. But that doesn’t mean he will get you something stupid on your birthday or, even worse, no gift on your birthday. 

That was just one thing, but it could be small things too – like when he fails to keep up with your monthly or weekly traditions or even when he fails to appreciate you. I am not saying that the entire relationship needs to be a big honeymoon. But settling down doesn’t mean your man completely forgot he has a girlfriend. 

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You Belong With Me…But What If You Don’t? Four Experts Strategies To NOT Take Back That Toxic Ex! 

Identifying the signs when he doesn’t really belong to you but now let’s talk about how to keep exes at bay – you know that feminine urge to leave everything and go back to your ex? Yeah, drop that urge right now! 

While you can spend time searching ‘you belong with me cast,’ I can help you out in a more relevant way – scroll down to read about how to keep these exes at bay! 

Communicate What’s Inside That Pretty Head Of Yours! 

I have found out that the best way to tell someone that it’s over is to actually SAY IT! Yes, it will be a difficult conversation. Yes, it will hurt. And yes, it will feel like shit, but for your mental well-being (and physical well-being as well), you must be clear from your end. That way, it is perhaps one of the best possible ways to communicate what’s inside your pretty head. 

Set Clear Boundaries…In BOLD!

Setting clear boundaries always work out best, trust me on this one! If you can set clear, bold boundaries from the very beginning with your ex, then it will do both of you so much good. Yes, so you don’t belong with me, but at least I am letting you know – at least you are aware of what you can and cannot do!

You Are Not Bob, You Can’t Fix Everything…

Remember Bob from Bob The Builder? The ‘Can we fix it?’ phrase doesn’t have to apply to your ex-partner. You can’t fix him, and that is exactly why you left him in the first place – rings a bell? So, the idea that you can fix everything with your ex is an impossibility. If he cheated on you once, he would cheat on you again…and vice versa!

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fu**

While communicating what’s inside your pretty head is vital right after the breakup, there’s no need to actually talk to your ex once the breakup’s over and the whole chapter’s closed. I mean, why do ex-partners always convince us to be there for them? Do we owe this to our feelings of the past, or do we owe this to ourselves for dealing with the breakup guilt? My advice? Don’t give a single fu** and just live your life, queen! 

Ad It’s Over…Bye, Bye Ex!

Yes, you belong with me but for now – let’s keep forever out of the way and go with the flow because you never know when you will no longer belong with me. I know it sounds a little harsh, but guys, you know there’s no point pulling a dead relationship beyond its expiry date. So, tell me what you think – waiting in the comments section!

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