We used to think that there is literally nothing worse than ghosting until we heard about this latest dating trend that has been doing the rounds recently.
Zombieing is when somebody ghosts you and then turns up into your life days, weeks, and sometimes, even years later. Sounds familiar… Doesn’t it?
Now don’t confuse Zombieing with your ex coming back into your life with the sole intention of tormenting you and pointing out all that is wrong with you. Zombieing happens to be a little more innocuous, if frustrating.
So, are you being zombied? And more importantly, how do you handle a former lover coming back from the dead? Stay tuned!
So, What Is Zombieing?
So, what is Zombieing in dating?
When someone who has already ghosted you, that is, disappeared from your life randomly without any explanation, suddenly starts talking to you again without any apology or explanation for that matter, it is called Zombieing.
Typically, this takes place in the form of somebody who has randomly stopped communicating with you and starts a conversation with you out of the blue. But it can also happen in other ways, like they might appear on your doorstep unannounced or send you a gift and call it a surprise.
Just to clarify, if you do run into them at an event over the weekend, that is not Zombieing. That is just a geographical probability – sorry, babe!
But Why Do People Get Zombied?
Like with stack dating, delusionships, or any other dating trend, people’s intentions vary. But curiosity, loneliness, or boredom could definitely play a role.
As per research by Badoo, a dating app, 43% of self-confessed ghosters said that they have regretted their actions.
The difference between ghosting and zombieing is that ghosters never come back into your life, but in zombieing, these ghosters go through a change of heart to make a comeback into your life.
Moreover, Zombieing is a combination of multiple factors – it could be curiosity, it could be loneliness, and it could also signify a genuine change of heart.
There are some people who do not understand the emotional impact of their actions. And reconnecting provides them with the opportunity to fix things after some time has passed.
If someone is zombieing you, it is possible that there is a lack of entertainment in their lives all of a sudden – good news, you could be their source of entertainment!
This is classic attention-seeking behavior. They want to see if it is possible to get a reaction. They are basically using it as a way of obtaining validation, probably because they are feeling low about themselves.
The Emotional Impacts Of Zombieing:
But what about the emotional and long-term impact of zombieing? It can actually lead to a range of different emotions – vulnerability, anger, and confusion.
It can challenge your sense of security and make you doubt your self-worth. Communicating with friends, family, or professional experts can help you to address these feelings and work towards self-care.
When we talk about a phenomenon like zombieing, it makes us feel the complexities and depth of human emotions and relationships. Open communication, self-care, and setting boundaries is the need of the hour.
Types Of Zombies:
There are two types of zombies,
1. The standard zombie, and
2. The zombie ex.
The Standard Zombie:
The standard zombie is usually somebody with whom you had a romantic connection, somebody who disappeared from your life – no messages, no calls – only to reappear in life with a random ‘what’s up’ on Instagram. Meanwhile, your heart is skipping and jumping inside your chest.
You were moving on, weren’t you? You were flirting with someone else, weren’t you? Now that one message has thrown you back into your feelings for this person, feelings that you were convinced no longer existed.
The Zombie Ex:
The zombie ex is a whole different creature. The ex who consciously decided it is better not to communicate the break up to you – the ex who didn’t want to tell you that you guys are no longer together, and one day, simply disappeared from your life. Weeks went by, and you finally moved on, only to go back where you started because you got a text from your ex.
Signs You Are Talking To A Zombie:
So, what are the signs that you are talking to a selfish, manipulative zombie? Without wasting your time, scroll down to read about the major signs that you are talking to a zombie.
1. They Have Ghosted You Before:
A sure sign that you are talking to a zombie is that they have ghosted you in the past. As wise men say, once a ghost, always a ghost. Unless things between the two of you have drastically changed, or they have had a major personal revelation, it is unlikely that things will end any differently.
Someone who feels that they can walk in and out of your life without facing any repercussions will keep doing so until you finally cut them off.
2. They Don’t Reply To Your Texts But Like Your Posts On Socials:
If someone has the time to see your story on Instagram or Snapchat but cannot reply to your texts, then they are sending you a very clear message. And that message is: ‘ I am completely ignoring you and will continue to do so until it becomes convenient for me to reappear in your life.‘
If a person has ghosted you but still follows you on social media, then there is a good probability that they are a zombie. They are just waiting for the right time to text you again. After all, there must be a reason as to why they have not disconnected from you completely.
3. They Are Always Talking To More Than One Person:
Early in a relationship, it is normal not to put all your eggs in one basket. But as the relationship turns monogamous, you cannot expect your partner to keep talking to other people. Zombies are usually flirty with everyone on social media, have all the dating apps on their phones, and are constantly talking to other potential partners. You are being zombied if you are a part of their dating roster.
4. They Will Love Bomb You:
One moment, they will be all over you, and the next moment, they will be ignoring you completely. When you overwhelm someone with love and attention, it is known as love bombing – from constant compliments to grand gestures of love, some even consider love bombing as a powerful tool of manipulation.
Not everyone who expresses a lot of love for you is a manipulator, but if they typically follow it up with unexpectedly long silences, then chances are you are talking to a zombie.
5. They Are Non-Committal:
After plenty of love bombing, Zombies typically go back to their non-committal ways. They will get you emotionally invested and then leave, only to reappear and make you go through all that again.
You can even recognize the signs – the last-minute plan cancellations, telling you that their next few weeks are very busy, and leaving you on read. These signs clearly indicate that you are talking to a zombie who is only interested in talking to you when they feel like it.
6. They Are Only Interested In One Thing:
Zombies usually have only one thing inside their heads. In cinema, that’s brain, but in the world of romance, we call that sex.
If they are telling you lots of nice things, showering you with compliments, and making you feel really good, only to ask if you could go to their place, then you are definitely talking to a zombie. Other signs include texts on weekends or late-night only.
How To Handle Getting Zombied?
Have you been looking up terms like ‘zombieing meaning‘ on Google? Are you worried that you are a victim of zombieing? Did this person have a genuine change of heart, or were they just bored?
If you think you are getting zombied, then you will be happy to hear we have a solution – we can tell you how to handle getting zombied! You just gotta stick around.
It is important to think about what you want before you start reacting. If you want to reconnect, then definitely communicate about what happened in the past and address any concerns you have right away. But if you think that the respect is still not there and it is unlikely things will change, then setting those boundaries is very important.
Most importantly, you need to trust your instincts, make your emotional well-being a priority, and choose the road that best aligns with your comfort.
If an old flame comes back into your life, it could be the beginning of something beautiful. After all, there is hope for everyone. And then again, there are times when the dead should just stay that dead, especially if they had the freaking nerves to ghost you in the first place.
So, Here are three killer tips to protect yourself from zombieing!
1. Don’t Wait For The Dead To Rise:
You have to recognize that you deserve better – you don’t deserve to be treated like a disposable option. If someone walks out of your life without even letting you know, then it’s better to let them go and move on. Why even consider waiting for the dead to come back?
2. Set Boundaries:
Set some boundaries for yourself. If someone ghosted you and now has made a reappearance, then don’t give them the power to hurt you again. You cannot allow them to come back into your life without having a proper conversation explaining why they disappeared before.
They left without any explanation – if you let them come back into your life without any explanation as well, then they will think they can walk in and out of your life when they feel like it.
3. Take A Break From Social Media:
Sometimes, it is good to take a break from social media. It is very easy to get caught up in the world of comments, likes, and shares. But at the same time, it also makes you an easier target for zombieing. So, just take a few steps back and focus on your needs.
Sometimes prevention is better than cure – yes, it might sound a little repressive. Why should you take a break from social media when it’s someone else trying to weasel their way back into your life? In that case, you can block them, and if they try to communicate with you through anyone else, we say block them too!
4. Ignore Them:
If someone has ghosted you in the past and then suddenly messages you out of the blue one day, then it means they were thinking about you. This, in turn, means you technically have the upper hand.
And while this is definitely not a healthy way to look at relationships, it is the sour truth. They expect you to go back to them, so ignore them and subvert those expectations. This will hopefully make them understand that they cannot depend on you whenever they feel like talking to you. Also, it sends out a signal that says you are not going to let them use you again.
And It’s A Wrap!
Our final thoughts on zombieing? Just because someone from your past has reached out to you, it does not mean you have to be fine with it. If you think it is not good for your mental health or it’s triggering in some way, then do not respond. You can also consider blocking them. Sometimes, a dead relationship should be left dead.
So, tell us your thoughts on this new dating phenomenon – what do you think about zombieing? Feel free to share your thoughts, stories, and experiences related to zombieing in the comments below.
