I think it was yesterday when I was discussing ‘how best friends fall in love’ with my friends, and we came across a quote that said, “Once in your lifetime, you will fall in love with your best friend, maybe that is temporary, but you will.” And that hit me hard.
I never thought about how easy and common it is to fall in love with one’s best friend. I love my BFF, but this is my first time considering this topic. You dont think about it, you never planned it, but somehow you fall in love with your best friend, and so do many others. And some must still be looking at the ceiling while playing with their hair or biting their nails and thinking, “Am I in love with my best friend?”
But here, we must also consider the platonic love that best friends share. Platonic love does not include any romantic feelings. Still, sometimes we miss the signs as we start getting invested in the relationship romantically and do not even realize it.
Is it platonic, or are you falling in love with your best friend?
We all have that one friend, who we rely on the most, and who knows all our dirty secrets and stand by us even when we mess up badly after ignoring what they said in the first place. But isn’t it quite normal? Isn’t every friendship like this? Yes, they are, and this is platonic.
Things start to evolve when the small things change, and you fail to notice them. Things begin to change when you like spending more time with that one friend. When you want to spend time with them alone, and leaving the whole gang aside. When unknowingly you dress up in their favorite color while going out with them and do not even realize it.
You might not notice and order their favorite food in the cafe even though you hated it previously. You might also get angry if they do not pick up your call the first time or if you find their phone busy. Beware. You have started falling for your best friend.
When this situation arrives, most people try to deny their feelings and make themselves understand that this is just friendship, and you are just caring for them, and there is nothing more to it. You may try to fight it, as you do not want to get into the complication that comes with love, or because you do not know how they would take it or if your feelings would get reciprocated.
Not speaking about it or ignoring them will not help in any possible way. But I realize how you would try to protect your feelings. Even if you pretend there is nothing between you two, trust me, the feeling keeps growing, and you will not be able to fight it for long.
Exploring the thin line
“Am I in love with my best friend?” Love and friendship are closely related, but there is a thin line between the two. We all love our friends, but something changes when we start falling in love with that one friend romantically. You might also get confused between platonic love and the love you are developing for this person. Let’s try to make things a bit easy for you.
- With friends, you can go without talking to them for an entire week and not feel any different as you know you will catch up from where you left last, but not talking to this person for even a day becomes problematic.
- “Am I in love with my best friend?” Your body language will give you the answer. While meeting with a friend, you are excited and happy but cannot control your body’s reaction to this person. You might get nervous and suddenly feel a rush of emotions in your body.
- There might be chemistry between you and your friend; you might like the same cuisine and genre of movies and music, but when you fall in love, there is a lot more. The feelings are much more intense when you start to grow romantic feelings for someone. You are smitten around them.
Evaluating your relationship
Every friendship is different, and so is every relationship. But the feeling of falling in love has been the same for ages. The nervousness you feel around them, how you get butterflies when they stroke your arm unconsciously, or when you both are physically close.
Are you still asking yourself, “Am I in love with my best friend?” Then keep your eye open and try to notice these facts. Take this as an “Am I in love with my best friend quiz” and ask yourself the following questions.
Are you getting jealous?
Getting jealous is the first sign that you must be checking for. Are you jealous if your best friend is getting close to someone else? Are you getting jealous if they are making plans with others without including you? This feeling might still happen even if you know that your best friend is already in a relationship with someone else.
Even if they are making plans with the person they are in a relationship with, it will start to bother you. You might also feel insecure that you might get ignored, and they might not consider you their priority. If this is the case, honey, you are in deep trouble.
Are you canceling your plans for them?
You know you have started developing feelings for your best friend if you start canceling other plans to spend time with them. When you cancel going to the movies with your other friends because your best friend won’t make it that day, and prefer giving them company.
When you are willing to cancel your family functions to go to an exhibition or clubbing with that person, you know you are falling in love with your BFF. Did you cancel your most awaited trip with all your friends because that one person is not going? Do I have to explain further what is happening here?
Do you like being close to them?
Are you looking for that one person everywhere? Even with a room full of your close friends? Love has its way of growing onto you. It’s like everybody ceases to exist except for that one single person. You would want them to be around always; you feel safe around them.
You feel safe around your best friend as well. Then how would you know if the feeling you have is romantic or if it is just platonic? When you are just friends, you do not notice all the small things about them when sitting close. But when you start growing feelings, you see.
You notice how they behave around you; you try to figure out if they are protective of you or looking for you when you are not around. You want them around all the time.
Can’t stop thinking about them?
Thinking about them is something fundamental in this context. From the point you start growing feelings, you will be unable to stop thinking about them. Even in the middle of an important class or meeting, their thoughts would pass your mind, or you might think about the moments you have spent before.
It also crosses your mind if they are thinking about you. And that is normal. It is human nature to think about if your feelings are getting reciprocated. You might also get zoned out between conversations and start thinking of them. You might wonder if they reached home safely or why they have not called you. It is a big sign that you are getting invested in them.
You think of them immediately when you come across a reel, or they are the first person to cross your mind when you find a new place to eat, find out some new place to visit, or find something relatable.
Can’t stop talking about them?
Even when you are with your friends, you can’t stop talking about them, or what you did when you were with them, what are the places you want to visit with them. And this doesn’t have to be limited to friends only. You might start talking about them to your family or the family member who is closest to you.
But if you are still under the impression that this is because you spend most of your time with them, talk to someone you trust and get their opinion, and try seeing things from their perspective.
Are you getting sexually attracted to them?
Your body language changes when you are someone you love; you cannot control how your body acts. Felling sexually attracted to them must happen when you start developing feelings like your palms might sweat, you might suddenly increase your heartbeat, but slowly you will start finding them attractive, and not just like that, sexually.
Sometimes, things might turn out differently; you might find someone sexually attractive but do not want to be romantically involved with them. This is where the concept of friends with benefits comes in. But, if you are sexually attracted to them and have some of the other mentioned symptoms, it is more than a friendship.
Friends with benefits: Is that a thing?
Well, I believe friends with benefits is a thing. You can find someone sexually attractive and might want someone out of it without getting emotionally or romantically attached to them.
But if that person is your best friend, then I don’t think that there is any possibility of keeping things strictly sexual without growing any emotional attachment. If you suddenly start finding your best friend attractive, then there is a high chance that you have already started developing feelings for them.
With best friends, I dont think ‘friends with benefits’ would ever work. One of you will start developing feelings, and the other person may not, and that could probably become the beginning of the end. If things dont pan out the way you thought they would, there is a high chance that you will be badly hurt, and both of you will lose the friendship you shared.
“Am I in love with my best friend?” Yes, you are. If you miss them as soon as they drop you home, if you remember their perfume by heart, if you crave that one person to calm you down when you are in distress, then my friend, you are in love with your best friend.
Falling in love with your best friend is the most amazing feeling ever, finding love and friendship in that one person. But the decision is upto you, what you want to do with you. It is understandable if you are also in denial; you must be trying to protect yourself. “Does my friend like me?” You must be scared that your feelings might not get reciprocated. And that is the case in most scenarios.
But it is you who have to make the hard choices for yourself. You should confront them, speak your heart out, and accept what they say about it. Or you could draw a line between you and keep things to yourself. The decision is yours.
Many thoughts might cross your mind, like, “I love my friends,” then why am I feeling different around this one person only, or “Why am I in love with my best friend?” I dont have an answer to that. Does anybody? I dont think so. They are feelings; they grow, they develop. So dont go overboard thinking the unnecessary, and think before you take the next step. That is something you have to focus on.
Subhasree is a content writer who is passionate about traveling, writing, and reading books. In her leisure time, she is seen listening to music and watching web series. Writing along with music and dance are ways in which she expresses herself.