It is never easy to get over a relationship, the one you cherished and nurtured like your baby. It is never easy to let go of those feelings and accept the fact that the person you loved is no longer with you. But every person goes through a heartbreak at least once in their lives. And I am no exception to that.
You can think of it as my personal memoir, but trust me when I say this. It is going to hurt like you have not imagined, but getting through the pain is a whole other process. You might feel a lot of things together. It can be grief, rejection, loneliness, or humiliation. It is absolutely normal. It is better to feel every bit of it while you can and then get over it.
What does heartbreak feel like?💔
Studies have shown that heartbreak actually feels like physical pain. In 2011, a study found that a person’s brain activity was similar to the brain activity they viewed after that person had burnt their arm.
It is even possible to die from a broken heart, as in the initial stage of grief, it is normal to experience increased heart rate and high pressure, which can put them at an increased rate of cardiovascular risk.
Another study in 2018 showed that widowers and wipes have a 41% chance of dying within the first six months of losing their partner. Researchers suspect that this can increase the risk of getting a cardiovascular disease in a person by 53%. So, it has been proven that heartbreak can actually affect the heart.
👉 Physical signs of a heartbreak
Heartbreak has the power to physically and mentally affect a person. Thus, depression comes like a free gift along with heartbreak. And there are some common symptoms that you can see in a person who is going through a difficult phase of heartbreak.
- Fatigue
- Anxiety
- Losing interest in your daily tasks, as well as in things which you used to love doing.
- Sleeping disorder is something that you can witness in a person going through a heartbreak. They can either sleep too much or too little.
- An eating disorder is another commonly found sign in people going through a heartbreak. They might lose their appetite or eat too much to deal with the pain.
If you are actually feeling heavy in the chest or if you think your chest is heart, you are not really imagining it. Studies have proven it. The amount of stress hormones that the body releases in times like this can trigger heartbreak syndrome or broken heart syndrome.
This is nothing but stress-induced cardiomyopathy. The symptoms of this condition include shortness of breath, chest pain, and erratic heartbreak. All of this together could make you feel like having a heart attack, but that is not the case here.
How long does heartbreak last?
How long does a heartbreak last? Or how long does it take to get over a heartbreak? Well, can you answer how long it takes to fall in love with a person? There is no exact time frame for it. The answer to how long it lasts is similar to this one. There is no shortcut to it. All you have to do is give yourself some time and put in some effort to get over it.
There is no need to dive immediately to mend your broken heart; there are no guidelines or tricks that can get you over the pain. So let things sink in and dont try to solve things immediately. This might make things more complicated for it. The best thing you can do is let you feel everything that is coming towards you.
Every human is different, and every relationship is other. So, it is not necessary that the coming mechanism that worked for you is going to work for me. Even for you, if this is your second heartbreak, it might not feel similar to the one that you had last time. Because the person with whom you were involved this time is different, and so is your relationship. Give yourself the time to heal.
Ways to mend your broken heart💔
Nothing I say is going to help you or make you feel better, but try these steps, and that might help you. After all, I am not different than you. I have also gone through what you are going through right now. We might not feel the same, but some of these might come to your aid. So, why not give it a try?
But in the initial days, you might feel the urge to isolate yourself from everyone and confine yourself to one room. But try not to do that. Motions like sadness, grief, and guilt can be overwhelming, but don’t let that overpower you. Reach out to people you trust and talk to them about what you are feeling. In difficult times, they will be your light in the darkest path.
Well, I’m not trying to get you invested in quotes about heartbreak, so just remember what Dumbledore said, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
👉 Don’t let your emotions get the best of you
Do not think of it as a failure; think of it as an opportunity to grow and evolve. It does not matter if this was your first relationship or your fifth one. It doesn’t matter if you are in the prime of your life or in your mid-thirties. There is always time to learn and grow; this may help you improve things in your next relationship.
You might even channel a lot of anger, depending on the end of your relationship. You might get tempted to take revenge on them, disrupt their current relationship, or even fantasize about interfering in their lives. But do not let your emotions control you. Doing any of this is not going to lessen your pain in any way. This might even end up making you feel guilty about disrupting their lives.
👉 Self-care is the best medicine
Self-care can be done in various ways; it can be emotional, physical, or also spiritual. You might have your own unique ideas of taking care of yourself, but if we generalize it, there are some ways that might be helpful for all. Doing regular exercise, having a nutritious diet, and talking to your support system are some basic ways that might help you cope with the pain.
Be gentle towards yourself. The pain is not emotional; it is physical and mental as well, so it is better to deal with yourself with care, just like you would do it for someone else. You also have to take care of the bigger picture. The romantic relationship you were in might have been the center of your universe. But this is the time to focus on your other relationships, like your family and friends.
👉 The past is an excellent place to visit, but dont live in it
Do not live in the past; try not to look back at the relationships through those rose-colored glasses. I know it might not be as easy as I would say, “Get over it.” You might ignore looking into the problems you faced and had in that relationship and only focus on the good memories that you both created; this is nothing unusual.
Or your mind can play those memories in an endless loop and slow down the healing process. No relationship is perfect, and not everything is wrong about a relationship as well. There are both sides to the relationship. But if you find yourself just focusing on the good parts and putting your ex-partner on a pedestal, then that is something that you have to work on.
Keep some distance, stop going through their social media, stop stalking them, and focus on your life. If you find yourself immediately going to their Instagram handle and checking their latest life updates, then it is better if you refrain from using social media. Go on a social media detox, read some books, go on a retreat, and try to make things better for your life.
👉 Cherish the good memories you made
It might happen that your relationship did not end on a good note. But was it all bad? No. There were good memories that you both cherished during the happy times. So, if you want to remember something, it is okay to think about it once in a while.
You might miss your ex-partner and the love you shared; you might feel that void created by the absence of your ex-partner in your life. Channel these emotions and make them a part of your healing process. So, when a happy memory comes to the surface, let it float and pass through.
👉 Getting a rebound is never an option
Your friends might suggest you get into a rebound relationship or try to match you with some of their other friends, but would that really work? You might also feel the need to be with a person and get their support and love. You are just looking for a rebound relationship. This may help you temporarily but will not help you get over your previous relationship.
Take time before you get into another relationship, and look into the mistakes you made in that relationship. If you jump into another relationship immediately, you might repeat the same mistakes again and repeat the same patterns as well.
It is not easy to change; it is normal to think that the person who loves you will accept you with all your flaws. But there are toxic traits in all of us, which become difficult to handle as the pattern keeps repeating because of this. So, it is better to get those checked and give it a thought if you can do something about it.
👉 Forgive
Forgiving someone is not easy; it takes a lot of courage to let go of the bad things that you have done. Especially the way they made you feel. It is not about them; it is for yourself. You do not have to condone their bad actions; forgive them so that it becomes easy for you to move on.
When you forgive them, you no longer allow them or their bad deeds to affect you. You do not invest any more time in them. This is a healthy choice. It is you that you have to take care of now. There is nothing you can do about it now.
👉 Take your time, and try again when you are ready
You might find it difficult to deal with your single life; you might feel lost, as if you have been part of a relationship for a long time. This is normal. You become codependent when you are a part of a long-term relationship.
This is the time to focus on yourself and take care of yourself. You might find it difficult if you have always been the caretaker, and taking care of others comes naturally to you. You might not feel comfortable being around people because you always had that one person around, but this is your time to socialize with people and learn to deal with things on your own. I know it won’t be easy, but that will help you grow.
Wrapping up!
There is no formula or magical aid to get over the pain that you are going through. All I can say is let it in, feel all of it, and let it pass through. You can do this. Pain fades with time; as you move forward and gather new experiences, everything starts to change. When you start putting your time into something constructive, your brain gets busy learning something else.
This might be the first step towards healing. Because you need it. You can’t just let yourself drown in all of it and be in this phase forever. Focus on yourself, focus on self-care, and in the process, learn from your previous mistakes. So, if you need some help and are going through the internet looking for “How long does it take to get over heartbreak,” “Why does heartbreak hurt so bad,” or “What to do when you are heartbroken,” then I hope this article has come to your aid.
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