It was back in school when I heard the term ‘first base.’ Back then, it was quite a complex subject for me to understand, and I had no idea about it. I believe there are many people like me who have found it challenging to understand the bases of love.
Well, the concept of love itself is quite a difficult one to understand. It often happens that we think of the concept so much that we actually fall in love with the idea of love, and we are miles away from the actual one.
But before getting into a relationship, it is essential to know that it is not easy to find love, and it can be pretty complicated to understand the relationship bases like they have to cross many hurdles to reach the destination.
Intimacy in a relationship is the most crucial part. Be it emotional or physical, intimacy is something that is the critical ingredient of a relationship and is the essential one to keep both parties connected. And that does not happen all at once; there are stages or relationship bases to get there.
Initially, it takes a lot to get the courage to send them a text, but with time, both people get comfortable with each other and show the other person their vulnerable side. This comes when one person starts trusting the other person.
It is essential to have this kind of intimacy as the relationship grows. We often hear that they become the lighthouse of the universe when we fall in love. But the way to that lighthouse is quite bumpy and might get dark. Let’s explore that bumpy road together and find out what’s at the end of it.
What are all the bases in a relationship?
Like we have steps in mathematics and must complete each step to get the solution, there are different relationship bases to reach the final stage of true love. We might try to step jump, I mean, cross a base and go to the other one. But that might work sometimes, and sometimes not. So, let’s check what are the bases in a relationship.
Stage 1: Infatuation
Among all the relationship bases, the first stage is the sweetest one. The first stage is where you get butterflies when you meet that person. That one person is the one who you want to see and spend all the time with. This stage is called infatuation.
This is the stage where it becomes impossible to resist your inner desires. Even if it is illogical, you find yourself doing it anyway, like texting them all day long, thinking about them, putting on pants the wrong way, or forgetting a meal.
Infatuation has a way of manipulating the hormones, creating euphoria in the body and mind. But infatuation can sometimes intensely grow and sometimes get less. But these are the feeling that forms the path to that lighthouse that we are exploring.
Stage 2: Landing
Landing is the phase where you start seeing things clearly. This is the stage where you actually find out whether you are genuinely into that person or if that was all just a phase.
According to Terry Real, a nationally-recognized author and family therapist once said, “I go around the country speaking about ‘normal marital hatred.’ Not one person has ever asked what I mean by that. It’s extremely raw. That moment when you look at the other person and think it’s all been a terrible mistake? I call it the first day of your real marriage.”
This is the day when you see everything under the microscope through a 6/6 vision. This landing can be a swift and smooth one, or it can be bumpy and rough. But this is when the veil comes off, and you face the harsh reality of whether you are actually getting close to that person or was just mere attraction. This is a different experience for everyone.
Stage 3: Burying
Are you feeling the love already? No? In the third stage, all the other things come crawling in, and you find yourself busy burning with work. You start having conversations about how you are buried under work pressure and have to go back home and cook dinner, and discuss how you haven’t picked up the laundry you were supposed to do last week.
Burying is the phase where things start to get real, where the carriage turns back to the pumpkin, the horses turn back to rats, and the fairytale begins to feel like reality. This is sometimes good. You are comfortable sharing these things with people you actually think are close to you. You will not randomly discuss your laundry details with someone you do not share that connection with.
But keeping the magic between the two of you is crucial. Don’t let it die. Otherwise, things might get monotonous too quickly. Go on date nights occasionally or plan a romantic movie night in your home and get cozy while watching your favorite movie if you have already moved in together by this stage.
Stage 4: Resurfacing
Resurfacing is the part where you are grateful for having the other person in your life inspite of all the differences you are facing. It is when you understand the other person better and accept them for all their good qualities and all their flaws.
This is when you realize you both have some flaws and understand that they are going to be parts of your relationship. But they are the ones that you will come back to at the end of the day and put your heart out.
At the end of the day, we all need one person we can go back to, who would have your back no matter what, and who you can trust with everything. The fourth stage is the stage where you reach after having a major setback.
Stage 5: True love
Aren’t we all looking for at the end of the day? It is the final stage that we all are trying to reach, but the journey is touch. It often happens that we see the lighthouse from a distance but somehow fail to reach the destination because we cannot decide which road to choose and can’t come to a mutual decision.
But lucky are those who manage to walk the road together, overcoming all the differences and making some difficult choices even when it is dark outside. This is a fantastic feeling when you know that you have that one person who will be with you through all your difficult paths.
4 bases of relationship (Physical intimacy)
A relationship is not just about emotional intimacy; it is also about physical intimacy. It is very important to have that physical attraction as well in a relationship. And just like we discussed about the emotional relationship bases, there are stages or bases of physical intimacy as well. And they evolve as you grow emotionally close to the other person.
The first base is the phase where you start to feel the physical attraction, and this is the most exciting part of a relationship, as everything is very new. Hence, the euphoria you feel when you are around that person is unexplainable. This is the phase where it all begins.
It is normal to feel nervous around this time; it takes a lot of courage to take the first step, the first touch. From holding hands to the very first kiss, everything falls under this. The first base is all about touching their neck, giving them a peck, a small goodbye hug, and the final stage of the first base has to be kissing.
I think all would agree that the very first kiss is always memorable, no matter how short it is. That moment is something that we cherish all our lives. From a peck to a French kiss, this phase will give you butterflies all the while. It is something that every person recalls when they have spent a long time with one another.
If we are talking about the emotional relationship bases, then I would say to reach the second base during the third stage of emotional intimacy. In this phase, you start getting comfortable with each other both emotionally and physically. You begin to share your personal life with this other person, and in doing so, you move to the second base as well.
It is not just kissing or hugging. It is a lot more than that. Kissing their neck and ears just to stimulate them or fiddling with their nipple while lying side by side can bring out that passion that you feel for that person.
If you want to take it slow, then an excellent make-out sesh can be the replacement for it, as the second base never gets below the waist. Even a long, passionate kiss might turn you on, and not going all the way can get frustrating, but wait for it. Maybe the other person is just not ready yet. Give it some time, and do not plan it. Let it happen on its own.
This phase will also help you decide if you actually like that person or not. If you are genuinely attracted to a person, then their touch will make you crazy, but in a good way. You will crave their touch if there is an actual connection. So, all I can say is explore the magic of indulging in the second base, and I promise you will not regret it.
If you have reached the third relationship base, then you are in the fourth stage of your emotional relationship, where you know that you are fortunate to have that person in your life, and you know their worth.
During the third base, you are actually very close to the final act of love. It might not happen, but in this phase, you will find yourself stimulating each other with oral sex and might even reach the climax. This is a new phase that you are exploring with that person, and so it is normal if you are feeling a bit nervous.
You might even feel conscious about your body and get a little insecure. But trust me, when you are all into the act, there is nothing else that matters. But it is better to communicate thes issues with your partner. Just let go of all your inhibitions and enjoy every bit of it.
There are different relationship bases. The fourth base is the final stage, where you go all the way. I am talking about penetrative sex. To get there, the two people involved need to trust each other, be comfortable with each and share a deep connection as well.
But it is not always the same for everyone, as there is no right time or moment for it. Some might get physically intimate on their first date, and some might take a few months to go there. But physical intimacy is all about mutual trust.
Some might be looking for a committed relationship, while some are looking for some casual sex with no strings attached. However, both parties should be clear about the situation, and there should be no miscommunication.
And I dont mean that about the situation you are in, but also in bed. Communicate with your partner what you are comfortable with and what makes you uncomfortable. That will make your bond strong.
We have discussed all the relationship bases, but it never ends there. There is always something more to it. There is a lot more about being in a relationship that we don’t talk about, that only the two people involved realize and go through as they move forward in their relationship. Hurdles always come up unannounced, and that strong connection and bond is the only key that helps keep the light of the lighthouse alive.
The same is true for physical intimacy; there is always something more to it, something else you can try. After getting comfortable with the other person and keeping it interesting comes the next base, which is the kink stage, where you explore all your weird and non-weird kinks and keep the love and intimacy alive.
The reality is different and more demanding than any fairytale, but with mutual trust and effort, it is easy to build your own fairytale with all the things you both want from life and one another. Walk the road together, and sometimes choose the road not taken and reach the destination.
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Subhasree is a content writer who is passionate about traveling, writing, and reading books. In her leisure time, she is seen listening to music and watching web series. Writing along with music and dance are ways in which she expresses herself.